


Baby We Did This (Don't Miss It)

by playfullips (dessertmeltdown)



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 12:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/319730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dessertmeltdown/pseuds/playfullips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon is a rockstar, and Brendon is a fan. Wackiness ensues.  (the fanboy AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby We Did This (Don't Miss It)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Miranda and Julia for being awesome and patient betas. Thanks Jennifer and Lee for being my test audience. I wrote this because it was my dream AU.

Brendon loves Chicago. When he first decided to go to school here, it was mostly because it was far away from Vegas and he was offered a good scholarship. Now that he's been here for a few months, he's sure that it was the right decision. The music program is amazing, and he's learning so much. He's even sort of starting to work on lyrics, which isn't something he's ever done before. He also has Ryan and Spencer now, and he doesn't think he'd trade them for anything.

"So, party at our place Saturday night?" Spencer says. "You in?" Spencer is a freshman too, but instead of living in the dorms, he's sharing a place with Ryan.

"Can't," Brendon says. "I told you what was I doing on Saturday."

"You did?" Spencer says, like he's trying really hard to remember. "Oh, that concert or whatever. That's this Saturday?"

" _Yes_ ," Brendon says. "I wish you and Ryan would come with me. It's going to be really awesome."

"I'm sure there'll be other chances to see 504," Spencer says. "They're from here, right?"

"Yeah," Brendon says. He's seen 504 three times this year already. The first time he was still living at home and his parents had grounded him after they found out, but it was totally worth it. The second had been over the summer, just before he moved, and the third right after he moved to Chicago. Spencer and Ryan, despite Brendon's insistence that he's not into dudes, keep telling him that he really just thinks that the lead singer is hot.

That's not true. Brendon loves music, and the first time he heard 504 he thought they were great. Maybe not the greatest technically, but the guitar is solid and the bass is almost flawless. The drummer has some issues, but the songs are good enough that Brendon's able to look past it. They're also pretty normal dudes from what he's seen, and while they've all been around the Chicago scene for a while, they've worked hard for their success.

Spencer and Ryan roll their eyes every time Brendon explains this to them. They just don't get it, which is ridiculous because Brendon knows they've had bands before. Plus, Spencer loves to give Ryan a hard time over his former massive hard on for Pete Wentz. Ryan denies it, but Spencer has the livejournal screencaps to prove it.

"Anyway, you should stop by the party afterward," Spencer says. "Ryan's totally going to get caught with his pants down. It's going to be awesome." Ryan and his girlfriend, whoever he's dating at the moment, are on an off again period. Basically meaning that she's dating him and he's dating three other people.

"You get an unnatural joy out of watching Ryan get dumped," Brendon says.

Spencer shrugs and says, "It wouldn't be so awesome if he didn't always having it coming so spectacularly. Maybe one of these days he'll actually learn his lesson." He pauses and then shakes his head. "Not that that's likely."

"Maybe Ryan's just waiting for the right girl to come along," Brendon says, and then, "Doubtful, though."

"Yeah," Spencer says. "Anyway, I have to get to class. Later, Bren."

This isn't the first time Spencer has rushed off in the middle of a conversation about Ryan. Sometimes Brendon thinks maybe he should think before he says something insulting about Spencer's best friend _to_ Spencer. It's just that usually Spencer starts it.

Brendon shrugs it off and walks back towards his dorm. He's got to work on a paper that's due on Monday if he's going to to a concert and then a party on Saturday night.

+

Brendon doesn't have enough clothes, that's his simple conclusion. He calls Spencer to whine about this, and Spencer tells him to _stop, seriously_. He's just going to get sweaty and gross and it won't matter what he's wearing. Brendon supposes that's true, but still. He sighs and pulls out a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie. He could probably do better, but it's getting late.

He gets to the venue just in time for the tail end of the first opening act. From what Brendon hears they're okay, but they're not anything very special. The second act is even more generic, but they at least have pretty cool lyrics.

By the time 504 comes on, Brendon's already feeling sweaty and gross from the pit. He's made his way to the second row though, and he's right in front of Jon Walker. The band is at their very best tonight, and the crowd is awesome. Sometimes Brendon thinks about what it would be like if he could be up on stage doing this every night. He thinks it would be pretty damned amazing.

The entire show goes by way too fast. The band plays a couple of songs that they're working on for the next album, and they're even more awesome than anything they've done before. Jon announces that the band will be hanging out for a little while at the back by the bar. Brendon thinks about Ryan and Spencer's party. He should probably at least drop by, but he's on a post-show high and it's Jon Walker, and it's _meeting_ Jon Walker and telling him how awesome his band is.

Brendon's decision is basically made for him.

He makes his way to the back, and there's already a large mob forming. Mostly girls who don't look old enough to be out past curfew. Brendon sighs and leans on the bar. He figures he's probably going to be standing around for a while. So far only the drummer, Nick Scimeca, and the guitarist, Tom Conrad, have come out. Jon's still nowhere to be seen, and Brendon's pretty content to wait in the back of the crowd until he does.

The crowd starts thinning out a little. Tom looks like he's getting ready to call it a night, and Brendon's not far behind him. The less sane, rational part, really wants to wait it out and see if Jon shows. It's been a good fifteen minutes and there's been no sign of Jon. Brendon's phone has been buzzing all night, and he kind of does want to know if Ryan's girl of the week caught him with next week's girl of the week. He pushes himself away from the bar and turns away from the crowd.

"Leaving so soon?" someone says, and it takes Brendon a few seconds to realize that it's Jon Walker. Talking to him.

"Uhm," Brendon says, and then, "I've got this thing, and...are you talking to me?"

Jon laughs around his beer bottle and then says, "Yes, I am. Looks like you've been waiting a while. It's kind of silly to leave without meeting the band."

"Oh, well, my friends are having this party or whatever, and I said I'd swing by," Brendon says. "Shouldn't you be on the other side of the crowd?"

"I like to sneak in," Jon says. "Do you want me to sign something? I mean, since you waited and all."

"What?" Brendon says, and then, "Oh, right." He pulls out his ticket and hands it over. Jon is laughing, but Brendon doesn't really feel like it's _at_ him, exactly. "This isn't the first time you've seen us play."

"What?" Brendon says. He hopes Jon doesn't just think he looks like he would be a creepy stalker or something. That would mean he really did pick the wrong hoodie.

"Oh, I have this thing. I can recognize faces really well," Jon says. "I mean, I couldn't tell you what other shows I've seen you at, but I know I've seen you before."

"Oh," Brendon says. "Cool."

Jon laughs again and hands him his ticket back. "Well, hey, thanks for coming out to the show. Hopefully you don't think I'm crazy or anything and will come to another one."

"Oh," Brendon says. "Oh yeah, totally. You guys are awesome. My favorite band." Brendon really, really feels like a tool right now. "I mean, your music, it's--it's really great." Oh God, he can't make himself shut up.

"Well, thanks," Jon says. Some girl yells something about people taking too much time, and Brendon realizes that the crowd has shifted and everyone is seeing Brendon's supreme toolness. He smiles a little lopsided and says, "Yeah, thanks. I mean, you're welcome. I mean--bye." And he shuffles away.

At least now he has something to tell Ryan and Spencer.

+

Brendon ends up skipping the party. His stomach is all tied up in knots and the last thing he feels like doing is drinking or watching everyone else get drunk and make fools of themselves. He leaves his dorm early Sunday morning and stops at Starbucks, grabbing something for Ryan and Spencer as well as himself, and goes to their place.

Spencer answers the door surprisingly cheerfully, while Ryan is on the couch damning whoever has dared make such a loud noise as knocking on the door. "Oh shut up, you big baby," Spencer says. "Anyway, if you're not nice to Brendon, he won't give you the coffee he brought you."

Ryan's head snaps up and he says, "Coffee? Don't hold out on me."

Brendon laughs. He hands Ryan the cup and says, "Wow, so that must have been some party."

"You have no idea," Spencer says. "But you would, if you hadn't stood us up for a band. I'm almost tempted to not tell you about Ryan nearly getting his ass kicked by two women at the same time."

"Well, fine. You hold out on me," Brendon says. "But see if I tell you about my awesome run in with Jon Walker."

"Stalking his bus and catching him as he gets on is not a run in," Spencer says.

"Shut the fuck up." Brendon pushes at Ryan's legs so he can sit on the end of the sofa. "We had a _conversation_. At the bar. It was amazing." It wasn't that amazing, and Brendon was a tool, but this is the way he chooses to retell the story. "He even talked to me first."

"Did he say, 'Hey, how's it going? Enjoy the show?' Because I'd hate to tell you this Brendon, but that's pretty standard," Spencer says.

"No, jackass," Brendon says. He tells the whole story, starting with how he was going to leave first, but he leaves out most of the things that make him sound like a big loser.

"Yeah," Spencer says. "Anyway, so Ryan was in his room, making out with whatserface, and whatsername comes in and she's like, _Where's Ryan, tell me right now!_ So I pointed her to Ryan's room--"

"Yeah, thanks for that, douchebag," Ryan says. Brendon thinks about pointing out that Ryan is the one juggling multiple women but thinks better of it. "And they have names, you know."

"Yeah, but I'll just have to learn new ones in a week, so what's the point?" Spencer says, shrugging. "Anyway, I just hear this series of high pitched squeals, and it's apparently Ryan trying to apologize to both of these girls. It was hilarious."

"You guys don't care about my run in with Jon Walker?" Brendon says. He's sort of disappointed.

"You had a fan experience, Brendon," Ryan says. "I almost got my eyes clawed out. Which is more exciting?" Brendon thinks that his story is way more exciting than Ryan's but he just shrugs and drinks his coffee.

+

Brendon doesn't actually have Thanksgiving plans. He can't really afford a plane ticket back to Vegas, and his parents probably don't want to see him anyway, so he's just planning to hang around Chicago. Ryan and Spencer are both going to spend the holiday with Spencer's family, and Brendon's roommate is going back to wherever home is, so Brendon's planning to mostly spend the three days quietly studying and writing papers in his room. It's actually nice to have some time to himself.

The only problem is that he is literally by himself. There are probably ten people left in his dorm total, and he doesn't actually know any of them. He mostly only knows Ryan and Spencer. He's been alone for exactly two hours and twenty-five minutes on Wednesday when he can't take the quiet anymore. He slams his book closed and grabs a hoodie.

He doesn't really know where he's going to go, but he has to go somewhere. He walks around for a little while and then ends up in Starbucks. It's packed to capacity, and there's not much room to move around. It's kind of cold outside, and Brendon's got this thin hoodie on because he didn't think to grab anything else. It's warm inside the coffee shop, and it takes Brendon ten minutes to even make it to the order counter.

By the time he gets his drink there aren't many places left to sit, but people are rotating in and out pretty fast, He only has to stand, leaning on the wall, for a couple of minutes before there's a small corner table free. He grabs it before someone else can and sits drinking his coffee and eating his espresso brownie. He's in no rush, even though people are looking at him like he's a jackass for not hurrying it up.

"You mind?" someone says. This time Brendon recognizes the voice. He looks up and Jon Walker is smiling down at him as he pulls out a chair. "I'm going to take that silence to mean, 'No, of course not, have a seat.'"

"Uhm, yeah," Brendon says. "I mean, no. I don't mind." Brendon expects Jon to carry the chair off to another table, but he sits down across from Brendon instead. Brendon tries not to stare, but Jon is _right there_. It's hard not to look.

"So, I don't know if you remember me," Jon says, and really, Brendon can't do anything besides laugh. "Did I say something funny?" but Jon is smiling at him, and it's kind of awesome.

"Yeah," Brendon says. "Obviously I remember you, since you're the lead singer of my favorite band." Brendon's going to have to try to sound like less of a tool in front of Jon. Not that he expects to run into Jon a lot.

"Favorite band, huh?" Jon says, and then, "What are you doing alone at Starbucks on the day before Thanksgiving?"

"Oh," Brendon says. He tries not to look as alone and pathetic as he is and shrugs. "Didn't have anything better to do, I guess. Anyway, I could say the same thing for you."

"Oh, I just stopped in to say hey. I used to work here," Jon says.

"Oh? Cool." Brendon nods and sips from his coffee, looking everywhere but at Jon because he feels sort of lame now that Jon seems to be making small talk with him. Obviously only because he looked so alone and pathetic.

"Well, I'm Jon," Jon says, and Brendon chokes out another laugh. "Yeah, I figured you might already know that." Jon smiles at him again, and Brendon really wishes he were going to have a chance to get used to it. Not for any other reason than it's pretty cool that someone he admires so much is talking to him, and he'll say that to Ryan and Spencer when they tease him about it, too. "Well, just to be fair, you should probably tell me your name too."

"Oh," Brendon says. "Brendon. It's Brendon. That's my name." Jesus Christ, he needs to get a grip.

"Well, Brendon, that grandma is giving you the evil eye. I think she wants your table," Jon says.

"Technically, it's our table," Brendon says. And Jon says, "Touche."

Brendon pushes back from the table. "I guess I should get home anyway. I mean, I've got a lot to do." He doesn't have much of anything to do. Just an essay that's due in a week and a half and studying for finals that don't happen for three weeks.

"Where's home?" Jon says, and he gets up out of his chair.

"Campus," Brendon says. "I'm a freshman at the university."

"Cool," Jon says. "That's not far from here. Did you walk?"

"Yeah," Brendon says. "I just needed to get out of the dorms for a while. Sometimes walking clears my head."

"Well, I could walk with you back," Jon says. "I don't have anywhere to be for a while."

"Oh," Brendon says. "Uhm, that's okay. I sort of just want--" Brendon doesn't know what he wants, but he doesn't want to make a fool of himself in front of Jon Walker anymore. God, Jon is probably going to go back and tell Tom and Nick about the jackass he saw at Starbucks. Brendon hates his life.

"Oh, sure," Jon says. "Well, it was cool running into you again, anyway." Jon nods at him and leaves Brendon standing with a grandma glaring at him until he walks out, far enough behind Jon that Jon can't see him leave.

+

"You _what_?" Spencer says. Brendon had waited a couple of hours to call him and Ryan, just in case they were still settling in Vegas. "Ryan, Brendon got hit on by Jon Walker and turned him down." He hears Ryan say some muffled words in the background and then Spencer says, "I know, right?"

"Oh, shut up. He wasn't hitting on me," Brendon says. "He was bored.”

"Yes, because touring musicians have nothing better to do when they're home than to hit up random fans in crowded Starbucks the day before Thanksgiving," Spencer says. "He wanted to _walk you home._ "

"He was being nice," Brendon says. "And I was being a freak, which is why I turned him down. Whatever."

"Oh man," Spencer says. "Dude, you almost had me though, seriously. I thought Jon Walker had actually hit on you, and then you just let it go. No one with as big of a crush as you have would actually do that. You ruined it, Brendon."

"I don't have a crush on Jon," Brendon says, a little pathetically. He doesn't _think_ he has a crush on Jon, anyway. He thinks Jon is awesome and is a great bass player and writes good songs and has a lazy smile that Brendon could probably stare at for _hours_. Brendon is kind of being a fourteen year old girl about Jon, and it's stupid.

"Yeah, uh huh," Spencer says. "My mom is calling us down for dinner. Do me a favor and go out and have some fun that doesn't involve making up stories about famous musicians." The line goes dead and Brendon sighs.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and he's going to be alone. He could have hung out with Jon Walker today, and instead he acted like a freak. Brendon hates his life a lot.

+

The second semester is harder than the first on Brendon. He doesn't even get to see Spencer and Ryan much because his work load is heavier, and Spencer has gotten a part time job at the student center. Plus, Brendon hangs out in his dorm studying more than he ever did before.

Spring break is in a couple of weeks, and Brendon's got midterms and papers sprinkled all along the way until then. He spends a lot more time in the library than he's ever wanted to.

When he's not in his dorm or in the library, he's in class. He's taking sixteen hours this semester, and he's starting to wish that he'd dropped his Intro to Psych class when he had the chance. He's not actually that into it, but Ryan had swore to him that it was an easy class. Ryan Ross needs to go jump off a cliff or something because he is a liar, and that class is going to give Brendon a migraine.

There's a message on his phone from Spencer. It says _tlkd to ur bf lately?_ Brendon rolls his eyes and tosses the phone down to the other end of the bed. [504] is playing a show tomorrow night in town, and he really wants to go. The only problem is that he's got his Psych midterm Friday, and he hasn't even made a dent in studying.

His phone buzzes, and he ignores it for about five minutes before slamming his book closed and throwing it onto the floor. It's Spencer again: _lunch. meet me@sbux._ Brendon shoots him a reply and grabs his wallet and keys before heading out the door.

He knows that he probably doesn't need to waste time having coffee with Spencer, but Nature versus Nurture is really starting to make his brain hurt, and he just can't think about it anymore.

They meet at Starbucks, and Spencer has already ordered Brendon's drink when he gets there. The coffee shop isn't very crowded right now, and they sit at a table in the corner where they're basically alone. "So, are you going to the show tomorrow night?" Spencer has been giving Brendon a hard time even since Thanksgiving. He'd calmed down a little bit, but only until [504] had announced that even though they're breaking to write some music, they're going to do a show in Chicago, just for the hell of it.

"Nope," Brendon says. "Midterm Friday. I'm going to kill Ryan. It's his fault I'm even taking this stupid class."

"Well, look at it this way. At least you can't make a fool out of yourself." Brendon tries not to send Spencer death glares as he laughs at his own lame joke. "Anyway, after a few shows, he probably starts to think a person is kind of creepy."

"I am not creepy," Brendon says. "I'm dedicated. There's a huge difference between the two."

"You can explain it to me while you walk with me back to work," Spencer says. "I only have ten minutes left."

"You got me to walk all the way here for three sips of coffee? All so that you could mock me in person? That's low," Brendon says.

"It's your sparkling personality," Spencer says. "Also, Ryan was in class."

"Glad I could be your consolation prize," Brendon says.

Spencer grins, and Brendon can't help but return it with a laugh as they walk out of the Starbucks together.

"Brendon?" They're just a few feet from the door when when Brendon hears his name and turns back around. "Hey, it is you," Jon says. "I wasn't sure."

Spencer looks at Brendon, raising an eyebrow but not saying anything. Brendon appreciates him for it. "Oh, hi."

"Hey, so it's been a while," Jon says.

"You remember my name?" Because really, Brendon can't believe that. It's been nearly four months, and Jon must meet tons of fans.

"Uh, yeah," Jon says. He plays with his overgrown bangs a little and then scratches at his beard. "So, are you going to be at the show tomorrow?"

"Oh," Brendon says. "Uh, well--"

"Yes," Spencer says. Brendon shoots him a look to ask what the fuck he thinks he's doing, but Spencer just ignores him and keeps talking. "He's going to be there. He wouldn't miss it."

"Great," Jon says. "I'll even put you on the guest list." Jon looks at Spencer and says, "You too. Any friend of Brendon's and all that."

"Oh, no," Spencer says. He shakes his head and laughs. "No, I have to work. Brendon here will be going to the show alone."

"Cool," Jon says. "Do you have a phone?" Brendon doesn't register that Jon is talking to him until Spencer kicks at his feet. He blinks and then pulls his phone from his pocket and hands it to Jon. Jon laughs, pushing some buttons on the phone and then hands it back to Brendon, saying, "Just in case you have any problems."

"Yeah," Brendon says.

"Oh, and I'll need your last name to put you on the guest list."

"Uh." Brendon doesn't think it's normal to forget your own last name, but somehow he's managed. He is such a tool, and he hates himself.

"It's Urie," Spencer says. "His last name is Urie." He looks like he's on the verge of doubling over with laughter, and Brendon honestly wouldn't be able to complain because he deserves all of the mocking he's going to get from this.

"Great," Jon says. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Yeah. Tomorrow night, yeah," Brendon says. He half waves, and then Jon disappears into Starbucks. Spencer laughs as soon as they start walking down the street.

+

"You guys have to come with me," Brendon says. Ryan and Spencer have spent the last two hours mocking him. He probably should want them to stay as far away from the venue tomorrow night as possible, but he's mostly just freaking out about being on the fucking guest list for his favorite band.

"Can't," Ryan says. "I've got an essay to work on. And a date."

"With who?" Spencer says. Ryan shrugs in return. Spencer looks away from Ryan and starts talking to Brendon again. "Anyway, you can't go on your first date with a rockstar and have your best friends tag along." Brendon would punch Spencer in the face if he didn't think Spencer would hit him back.

"Shut up," Brendon says. "He's only being nice. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend."

"Does his girlfriend know that he spent the day before Thanksgiving hitting on a random fan? Who's a dude?" Spencer says.

"You said I just made that up," Brendon says.

"Well, I thought you did, but then today happened. Jon knew your name, and there was clearly a history there, so now I believe you."

'Thanks for that," Brendon says.

"Anyway, Spencer's right," Ryan says. "Rockstars don't guest list random fans without a reason, and it's sounds to me like Jon's got the hots for you." Ryan is a douchebag, and Brendon hates him. Mostly because he's taking Spencer's side on this.

"How do you know? You're not a rockstar, and besides that, you weren't even there." Brendon is probably on the verge of whining, but he doesn't care right now.

"No, but Spencer was, and I trust his judgement," Ryan says. "If he says Jon was hitting on you, then Jon was probably hitting on you."

"Spencer didn't say Jon was hitting on me today," Brendon says. Spencer said _nearly_ that but not exactly, and that's the important thing.

"It was implied," Spencer says. "Anyway, don't you have a test to study for tonight if you're going to a concert tomorrow?" He grins at Brendon, and Brendon hates him a little more than he did a minute ago.

"Fine," Brendon says. "You know, I don't have to take this kind of abuse. I could just stop coming over here, and then what you do?"

"You mean what would _you_ do," Ryan says. He has a point, but Brendon won't admit that.

"Whatever, Ross. I'm going to study for the stupid class that you convinced me to sign up for."

+

Brendon thinks very seriously about standing Jon up. Well, not standing Jon up because that would imply that this is some kind of date, and it's definitely not. But he thinks about not going to the show. He didn't get get as much studying done as he'd wanted to, and he can't afford to fail this test.

On the other hand, Jon had personally invited him. If he doesn't go now, he'll look like an even bigger tool. Not that it's likely Jon is sitting backstage waiting for him or anything, but.

Brendon sighs and slams his book closed. If he leaves now, he can make it before the first act goes on. He wonders if he'll get to go back and talk to Jon before the show. That would be kind of awesome.

They're playing a smaller club tonight, even though they usually play bigger venues. Brendon gives the guy at the door his name, but instead of letting him in the bouncer waves someone else over. Brendon recognizes him as 504's security guy, Zack. Brendon assumes that him being called over can't mean anything good.

Maybe Jon was just trying to see if he would show up so that Zack could tell him that he was never allowed back to a show. Brendon thinks that would probably really suck. Zack comes over and looks Brendon up and down. He says, "So, you're Brendon. Alright, come with me." He gestures for Brendon to follow him out of the venue.

Brendon hesitates but Zack hasn't yelled at him yet, and he's not telling him to leave, so he keeps following. Zack takes Brendon to a door around the side of the building and says, "Here, wear this." He hands Brendon a sticker that says he's a 'VIP.' It's pretty cool. Brendon's never been a VIP before.

They go inside and Zack stops in front of a door that's at the other end of a really short, dingy hallway. He knocks on the door and says, "The kid's here." It's a few minutes before he hears Jon tell Zack to let him in.

Zack gestures him in the door and says, "You have about twenty minutes until meet and greet, but I can't guarantee that Tom and Nick will give you that much time before they come bother you. Just a warning." Zack nods at both of them and shuts the door behind him.

"He's probably standing right outside the door," Jon says. Brendon hovers in the doorway because he doesn't really know what else to do. He's never been backstage before. "Are you going to stand there all night?" Jon laughs, and it relaxes Brendon just enough that he can walk further into the room.

He sits down on the ratty old sofa that's probably been back here since the club opened, long before Brendon or Jon were born. Jon's sitting on the opposite end. There's a notebook next to him and he's got a pen in his hand, twirling it with his fingers. "Hi," Brendon says.

"Hi." Jon smiles at him. Brendon kind of wants that smile all the time, but he reminds himself that Jon's sort of famous, and he's just a fan, and this is not some kind of date. "I'm glad you came."

 

"Well, I said I would," Brendon says. Although, technically. "Well, I guess Spencer said I would, but you know. Same thing, basically." Brendon might be imagining it, but he thinks he sees Jon's face fall for just a second.

"So, Spencer," Jon says. "He seemed like a cool dude."

"Yeah. Spencer's great," Brendon says.

"Yeah." Jon nods. "So, how long have you two been together?" Brendon wonders if his face shows just how shocked he really is. He laughs and then he laughs some more. "What? Did I say something funny?" Jon says, but he doesn't look amused at all.

"Spencer's not--I mean, I'm not." Brendon breathes in and stops himself from laughing. "Spencer's my friend. Not, like--no. That's just wrong."

"Oh," Jon says. " _Oh._ Wow, I feel kind of like a douche." Brendon frowns because he didn't mean to make Jon feel like a douche. He doesn't know why Jon _would_ feel like a douche.

"Why did you think Spencer was my boyfriend?" Brendon says. He feels like he needs to keep the conversation going.

"Don't know." Jon shrugs. "I guess you guys just seemed pretty, I don't know, close. And then I figured, well, of course you're seeing someone."

Why would Jon even be thinking about whether or not Brendon is seeing someone? "I'm not," Brendon says. He's not sure why it matters, though.

Zack knocks on the door. "Ten minutes," he says.

"I wish I didn't have this meet and greet. I was kind of hoping we could hang out," Jon says.

"Really?" Brendon can't imagine that _Jon Walker_ would actually want to hang out with him. "I mean, yeah. That sucks," he says. He doesn't want to look _quite_ that lame.

"So, we're flying out to LA next week for some meetings or whatever." Jon doesn't seem really thrilled about it. "I guess you can't hang around after the show?"

"I have a midterm tomorrow," Brendon says. It's probably the lamest excuse ever, but he really can't sleep through or fail this test. It would fuck his GPA, and he can't let that happen. "Thanks for inviting me to the show, though. It's great. I mean, wow. I've never been a VIP before."

Jon laughs. "Well, you're welcome." Zack knocks on the door again and tells Jon he has five minutes. "Are you busy Saturday?" Jon says. Time seems to be moving faster than normal, and Brendon hates it.

"Uhm, no. I don't think so. I mean, I'd have to check with Spencer and Ryan and everything, but I think--"

"We should hang out. I mean, if you want to." Jon seems reluctant to ask, and once the question is out there, he won't look at Brendon. It's kind of endearing.

"Okay," Brendon says. "I mean, yeah. Yes, that'd be cool." He's going to hang out with Jon Walker. Presumably _alone_. It's hard to process. "Just tell me where to be."

Zack knocks on the door again, and tells Jon it's time to go. Brendon sort of hates Zack. Jon frowns and sighs. "I guess that's my cue," he says. "I'll call you tomorrow?"

Brendon nods and then Jon is gone. Brendon isn't quite sure what just happened, but he thinks he might have a date with Jon Walker.

"Oh, hey, wait," Jon says. "Here, put your number in, so that I'll actually be able to call you." He hands Brendon his phone, and Brendon punches in his number. At least he thinks it's his number. Jon takes the phone back and looks at it. He says, "Bden?" and laughs quietly. Brendon just shrugs. Jon smiles at him and tells him he'll talk to him tomorrow.

+

Throughout the show Brendon catches Jon sneaking glances toward the bar. It's possible that Jon's just wondering when he can go have a drink, but he likes to think that Jon's looking at him. Especially since he keeps flashing this awesome smile. The band wraps up and Brendon heads out quickly. If he waits for Jon to come and talk to fans he probably won't ever leave, so he should go now.

He makes it home just before one and manages to get four hours of sleep before he has to be up for his midterm. He's not sure how well he does, but he thinks he manages to at least get a passing grade of some kind.

After it's over he texts Spencer to find out if he's free this afternoon, and they meet for lunch in the cafeteria. Brendon gets there first and grabs something to eat before finding a table. He doesn't eat much, just pushes his pasta salad around on his plate and waits for Spencer.

"What's up?" Spencer asks, sitting across from him.

Brendon mumbles something that sounds a lot like "ithikhavdtwifjon," rather than actual words, and Spencer says, "Say that again?"

"I think I have a date with Jon," Brendon says. He still doesn't actually look at Spencer, but at least he actually said the words.

"You had a date with Jon last night," Spencer says.

"No, I had fifteen minutes in Jon's dressing room before a show last night. That doesn't count. He asked me to hang out with him tomorrow. Alone, I think."

"Oh. Wow. Where are you going?" Spencer asks. He's abandoned his turkey sandwich and is instead staring at Brendon.

"I don't know. He's going to _call me_ tonight," Brendon says. "What the fuck am I doing?"

"Going out with a famous guy that you probably know way too much about?" Spencer laughs and then notices that Brendon isn't laughing with him. Brendon is freaking out a little bit now that his midterm is over and he's actually letting himself think about it. "Okay, seriously, don't freak out. He's going to call and tell you where to be and all you have to do is be there. He's obviously into you."

"He doesn't even know me," Brendon says. "I mean, I guess he sort of knows me from the collective twenty minutes that we've spent in each other's presence, but. Maybe I'm reading the signals wrong. Maybe it's like, adopt a fan week or something."

"What happened?" Spencer asks. "I mean, how did he ask you?"

"I don't know." Brendon pauses and laughs. "He thought you were my boyfriend, which was really hilarious, and I don't know. He just asked me if I wanted to hang out on Saturday because he didn't get to last night."

"Okay, so here's what you're going to do. You're going to stop freaking out, and you're going to come over later and Ryan and I are going to mock you endlessly about this," Spencer says. "Then you're going to go out with Jon tomorrow, and come over again and tell Ryan and me all about it. And then we're going to mock you some more." Spencer grins at him.

"Thanks. You're a great friend," Brendon says, dryly. "I'm glad I can count on you to mock me when I need it most."

"No problem. Ryan and I are happy to do that for you." Spencer grins at him. "Now, hurry up and eat. I have to get back to work, and you're going to walk with me."

They don't talk about Jon Walker for the rest of lunch.

+

It's not that Brendon is waiting for the phone to ring or anything. It's just that he keeps looking at it. To make sure it's on or whatever. It's late in the afternoon, bordering on early evening. Jon probably would have called by now. Brendon shakes his head at himself for being so ridiculous. It's not like he really thought Jon was going to call him anyway. Jon's probably got a lot going on, with getting ready to go out to LA next week and everything.

Brendon is going crazy sitting in his dorm room waiting, so he decides to go hang out in the music rooms. The practice area on campus is pretty cool, and he doesn't spend nearly as much time there as he wants. He thinks about leaving his phone, but he grabs it just in case as he walks out of the room.

He's glad the piano is free right now because he's itching to play. He's been working on a couple of songs for his Music Composition class, but they're nowhere near where he wants them. He sits down and plays out a few bars of nonsense just to warm up his hands and then starts writing out music in his head.

When Brendon's playing it's almost like there's nothing else in the world. It's just him and the music, and he can't get enough. He hums along with himself, nonsense lyrics in his head to go with the music he's played dozens of times. Lyrics are his weak point, but he's working on it. His Composition professor keeps telling him that what he's lacking is confidence, but sometimes he's not so sure.

He isn't paying much attention to the time, and when he finally stops he realizes that it's been an hour. He wants to stay longer, but he's supposed to meet Spencer and Ryan soon.

He takes out his phone to shoot a text to Spencer as he heads to the apartment and notices that his phone is blinking. There are two missed calls. The first one is Spencer telling him to "pick up the phone, asshole." The second is from Jon. Of course Jon called when Brendon wasn't paying attention. It would happen that way.

The message is short. Jon just says, "Hey, it's me. I guess you're busy or whatever. Yeah, so..." and the line goes dead. Brendon mentally kicks himself for not answering when Jon called. He sends a text to Spencer telling him he's on his way and then scrolls to Jon's number. He hovers over the button for a second before pushing 'call'.

It rings three times before Jon picks up. "Hey," Brendon says.

"Oh, hi. I thought maybe--never mind," Jon says.

"What? Sorry, I was in the practice room working on something," Brendon says. "I kind of just assumed you'd decided not to call me."

"What? No way, dude. I was just waiting because I didn't know when you had class or whatever."

"Oh. Right," Brendon says.

"So, tomorrow," Jon says. "What do you want to do?"

“Oh, I don't know. You probably know what's around here better than me. I've mostly spent all of my time on campus and at Ryan and Spencer's."

"Well then, I'll just have to surprise you," Jon says. Brendon can _hear_ the grin in his voice. Brendon wonders what Jon could possibly have in mind. He doesn't realize he hasn't said anything in a while until he hears Jon say, "Brendon? Are you still there? Fucking cell phones."

"I'm here," Brendon says. "Did you ask something? Sorry, sometimes the reception in here is terrible." He hopes it's not totally obvious that he's lying about that.

"Oh, that's cool. I just wanted to know where to pick you up? And when."

"I'll be in my room pretty much all day. I have a paper to work on," Brendon says.

"Oh, if it's a bad day, I get it."

"Oh, no. No, it's not that. It's not due until Wednesday. We're good, so just--whenever. I guess you could throw me a text when you're on your way?" Brendon says. It's his attempt at making this as comfortable and relaxed as possible. If the fact that his heart is beating ten times faster than usual and his stomach is turning upside down is any indication, it's not working very well.

"Yeah, cool," Jon says. "Probably late afternoon or early evening? Around four?"

"Okay, cool," Brendon says. 'Cool' is starting to feel so overused. Brendon sighs into the phone. It's completely unintentional, and he pulls the phone way from his ear, cursing himself, for just a moment.

"Brendon?"

"Yeah, sorry. You're breaking up again. We'll talk tomorrow?" Brendon says.

"Yeah," Jon says. "Tomorrow."

"Great, bye!" Brendon hears Jon mumble out a goodbye just before he hangs up the phone and puts it back in his bag.

+

"I'm an idiot. Seriously. Why did I think that I could go out with Jon Walker?" Brendon says. He's lying stretched out on Ryan and Spencer's sofa. Ryan is on the floor, leaning back against the edge of the sofa and Spencer is sitting across the room in the cheap, old recliner that they got on Craigslist. It doesn't actually recline anymore, and there are some pretty gross looking stains that were there when they got it, but it was free, and Spencer seems to really like it.

"Because he asked you," Spencer says. "Obviously he saw some reason to do so."

"He's going to spend half an hour with me and discover that I'm me," Brendon says.

"Yes, and then he's going to like you even more." If Brendon didn't know Ryan as well as he does, he would think that's sarcasm, but he can tell Ryan means it. "Seriously Bren, calm the fuck down."

Brendon takes a breath, counts to five, breathes again. He's calm. He can totally be calm. "Okay."

"Have you ever been on a date with a guy before?" Ryan asks. He looks amused, and Brendon wants to kick him. Hard.

"No," Brendon mumbles. "I've only been on, like, three dates with anyone." In school Brendon was always a little too lame to get people to go out with him. He tried too hard, and apparently girls don't actually like that.

"If only we could be there," Ryan says, solemnly. "This is probably going to be hilarious."

"I hate you." Brendon tries to glare, but it's really more of a pout.

"Whatever, you love me," Ryan says.

Brendon usually does but right now, not so much. Spencer is cackling from his spot on the chair. Brendon hates him, too.

+

Brendon's not _nervous_. He thinks maybe if he tells himself that enough, it'll be true. He's picked out something to wear that is neither paisley nor cleverly mismatched, because no matter what Ryan thinks, he will never be one to give fashion advice.

Brendon's got nothing to do now but wait for Jon to show. He's refreshed facebook more times than he can count. His roommate is thankfully uninterested in why Brendon is pacing around the room. He's really only interested in online gaming, and right now Brendon's pretty thankful for that.

His phone beeps, telling him he has a text. It's Jon saying that he's waiting out front and can't get into the building. In a brief moment of nervousness, Brendon had forgotten about that whole can't get in without a student ID thing. He waves a quick goodbye to his roommate, who doesn't even look up from his computer, and tries not to look too eager as he heads outside.

Jon is leaning against the building, hands in his pockets, staring off in the distance. It looks like he's studying the horizon.

"Uhm, hey." Brendon says. Jon's shoulders jump and he looks over, smiles, and says, "Oh, hey. That was fast."

"Oh, yeah. I'm only on the second floor, so." Brendon looks off to where Jon appeared to be looking before. "What were you looking at?"

"Nothing," Jon says. He pushes away from the wall. "C'mon. Let's go."

"Where are we going?" Brendon says.

"Thought you wanted to be surprised," Jon says, grinning. Brendon starts to say something, but Jon interrupts him before he can. "I'm just going to take you to a couple of my favorite places in Chicago. You've probably been to all of them, but act like you're in awe anyway. It'll make me feel way more cool than I am."

Brendon laughs. "Okay, I think I can do that."

They don't talk a lot as Jon drives. Brendon doesn't really know what to say and Jon is humming along to the radio. They pull into the parking lot of some diner, and Jon says, "This is my favorite place in the city. We used to come here every day when I was in school, all the way up until everything was crazy and we weren't home much."

"Cool," Brendon says. He's not really uncomfortable around Jon, but he doesn't know what to say either.

They go inside and find a booth in the corner. "So, the breakfast food is great. I know it's pretty much dinner time, but pancakes are awesome any time of day." He doesn't even look at the menu. "Their coffee tastes like shit, though."

Brendon's just about to respond when their waitress walks up to the table. "Haven't seen you here in a while. Getting too big for us, I see," she says.

"That's a lie, Rita," Jon says. "I've just been busy."

"Uh-huh. Well, Mr. Big Shot, what can I get you?" She doesn't bother pulling the pen from behind her ear and says, bored, "Let me guess, pancakes with maple syrup, four pieces of bacon, and a coffee."

"You never forget, Rita," Jon says.

"Well, you did come here every day for four years. I don't know how I'd forget." She turns to Brendon and says, "And you? What can I get for you?"

"Uhm, I don't know. I haven't really--"

"You should try the pancakes," Jon says.

"Uhm okay, pancakes, I guess. And a Coke," Brendon says.

Rita nods, not bothering to write it down and Jon says, "Trust me, you can't go wrong with the pancakes here."

"I thought you said the coffee was shitty," Brendon says.

"Well, even shitty coffee is still coffee." Jon taps his thumb in a steady rhythm on the table. He says, "So, you're not from Chicago, are you?"

"No," Brendon says. "I really haven't done a lot here, either. I'm on scholarship, so other than a couple of shows and going out with Ryan and Spence every once in a while, it's mostly all school."

"Well, that's cool," Jon says. "Means there's more that I can show you." Jon grins and then clears his throat. "Where _are_ you from?"

"Vegas," Brendon says. He doesn't elaborate. The last thing he wants to do is dump a lot of personal family shit on Jon ten minutes into their first date. That would probably ensure that there's never a second.

"Wow, really? Why the fuck would you move to Chicago?" Jon says. "This place is cool and all, but _Vegas_."

"It's alright," Brendon says. "Not as cool as everyone thinks it is, I guess." Brendon doesn't have the most fond memories of Vegas, at least not recent fond memories.

"I guess everyone thinks the place they live sucks in comparison," Jon says, shrugging.

Their food comes out in what seems like record time, and Rita smiles at them and says something to Jon about bringing that one really great tipper next time. She walks away laughing and Jon says, "Nick. Tom is a shitty tipper."

Brendon thanks whatever being might be out there that he doesn't have to talk because he doesn't know what to say. He's happy to let Jon lead the conversation. He likes Jon, and he wants to be here, but he can't stop thinking about the fact that Jon's this sort of famous dude that Brendon kind of wants to _be_.

"Brendon?" Jon waves his hand in Brendon's face before Brendon realizes that he's been talking. "I asked you what your major was."

"Oh," Brendon says. "Oh, right, yeah. Uhm, music."

"Really?" Jon says. "Are you any good?"

"I don't know. I guess," Brendon says. "I play a lot of things alright. I pretty much suck at writing actual lyrics, though."

"What do you play?" Jon asks. He actually seems interested, which surprises Brendon.

"Piano is probably what I'm best at. I also know guitar, bass, drums...I don't know. A couple of other things," Brendon says. It's not a big deal for him. He had a hard time focusing when he was a kid, so he'd get bored with one instrument and start another. It's why there are only a couple of things he's really good at. It's not that impressive.

"Wow," Jon says. "Have you been playing your whole life?"

"I started when I was really young," Brendon says. "I don't know. Music was a pretty big deal in my house. I've always been into it."

"That's awesome," Jon says. "My parents weren't really thrilled when I was fifteen and told them that I was going to skip college and do this whole music thing. I think they wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer, but that was never going to happen."

Brendon knows every band that Jon's been in. It's not really that he went looking, but it's out there anyway. 504 had started as 504 Plan, and Jon wasn't an original member. He joined when Tom suggested him because he was between bands, and they needed a new bass player. The original lead singer clashed with the rest of the band creatively right before Pete signed them, and he quit. They went a different direction, cut the Plan from the name and made it big. Brendon knows these things already, and it feels weird that he doesn't need to ask.

"What do your parents think?" Jon says.

"Oh," Brendon says. He doesn't want to talk about his parents. He just shrugs. "These pancakes are awesome."

Jon gives him a look, but he seems to be willing to let it drop. He smiles and says, "Told you. Didn't I tell you?"

"You did tell me," Brendon says.

Rita comes by the table and brings them their check. "You want it separate, you can do it yourself." She winks at Jon as she walks off, calling back over her shoulder, "And don't tip like your blond friend."

Jon laughs. "Yeah, this is what happens when you come to a place so often they know you by name. I mean, Chicago's a big city, right? You don't really get that a lot here. I guess that's part of the reason I love this place."

"How did you find it?"

"Oh, we went to school right around the corner. It was within walking distance before Tom and I could drive, so we started coming here. When I joined Plan, Nick started coming along."

They finish up their pancakes and then head for the door. Jon stops to pay, but Brendon keeps going. He's contemplating whether or not he should bolt but decides not to. Despite a couple of awkward moments, this has actually been pretty nice.

"So, I was thinking we could go to a show tonight. The best thing about Chicago, I feel, is that there's always a band that a friend of a friend of a friend is in to go see. I mean, seriously. Every single night."

"Cool," Brendon says. "I'm into that idea." Brendon doesn't get out to a lot of shows, even though he knows the Chicago scene is supposed to be great. Maybe he can start getting to more now.

"Tom's friend Sean is playing tonight at this little club in the area. It only holds about two hundred people, but I can get us in," Jon says. "I told Tom to be expecting us."

"Tom's going to be there?" Brendon asks. It's not that he doesn't want to be around Jon's friends, but that's just going to make everything weirder.

"Is that okay?" Jon says. "I mean, we can do something else, if you want."

"Oh, no," Brendon says. "That's cool." He grins. "Totally cool. I'm excited even."

"Awesome," Jon says. It really is close to the diner, and they don't have to drive very far before Jon's pulling into a parking lot. "It's right down the block."

Jon takes Brendon around back, where some guys are unloading a van. "Oh, hey, Walker, cool. You can help us," one of the guys says.

"Not tonight, Van Vleet. I'm on a _date_." He knocks shoulders with Brendon and grins. "Make Tom help."

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing?" Tom says. "Oh, hey, Brendon, right?" Tom nods in Brendon's direction. "Anyway, I don't think a date should exempt you from helping."

"Well, lucky for me, I do," Jon says. He throws an arm around Brendon's shoulder, and Brendon feels something in the pit of his stomach. It's not a terrible feeling. "Come on, Bren. I'll buy you a drink or something."

"Fucker!" someone calls out as they disappear into the back door of the club. Jon laughs, pulling Brendon along with him.

"So, this band is awesome. I think you'll probably decide you've been listening to the wrong band," Jon says. "I don't have a fucking clue why they're not signed."

Jon gets Brendon a beer, and they hang out in a corner. "It's better if I stay out of the way, you know. I came to a show once and got fucking swarmed. I don't mind signing for people or whatever, but I don't know. I come to these things to watch my friends play, you know? I'd rather just be out of the way so that I can enjoy the show, and so that people are actually paying attention to the guys on stage."

"Oh yeah, totally," Brendon says. There's a little seating area in the corner, with a sofa and a couple of chairs. Brendon thinks it's supposed to be a VIP area, but it's really just a dark corner. Jon takes an end of the sofa and Brendon sits down next to him, not too close. After a while, Tom joins them, pulling a girl by the hand. A couple of other people show up too. Brendon doesn't recognize anyone, but they all seem to know each other.

"Jon Walker," a girl says. She's pretty, with blonde hair and a big smile. She looks familiar in a way that Brendon can't place.

"Hey, Cass," Jon says.

"That's all? _Hey, Cass_? Fucker," she says.

Jon clears his throat, shooting a glance at Brendon. "Cassie, this is Brendon."

"Ohhh," Cassie says. She smiles and sits down on the other side of Brendon. "I see."

"Hi?" Brendon says. A couple of other people are looking in his direction, and he feels a little bit like the center of attention. He's not into it.

"I'm Cassie. I'm sure Jon has told you absolutely nothing about me," she says. "Because he's a douchebag."

"Hey!" Jon says. "I am not a--”

"Oh, shut up, you big baby. I'm talking to Brendon," she says. "So, I've heard a lot about you."

"Really?" Brendon asks. He tries not to seem as shocked as he is, but he can't believe that Jon's talked about him to other people.

"Jesus, seriously. The last three days it's been all Brendon, Brendon, Brendon." Jon glares at her, but she keeps going anyway. "Between you and me, I think he's a little obsessed." Brendon can tell that she's making fun of Jon, not him, so he laughs. Jon crosses his arms and starts talking to Tom and Tom's date. "You're going to ignore your date?"

"I'm ignoring you," Jon says.

Between the beer and Cassie, Brendon feels a lot more relaxed than he did fifteen minutes ago. "He's a little testy sometimes," Cassie says. "Just ignore him." She grins.

"I'll remember that," Brendon says.

"So, Brendon, Jon tells me you're a fan?" The question seems like it's some kind of a test, and Brendon really doesn't want to give her the wrong answer. The truth seems like the wrong answer.

"Yeah," Brendon says, shifting in his seat. "I mean, you know--yeah."

"Cool," Cassie says, and then, "Well, you don't _seem_ like a stalker or anything, and Jon seems to think you're cool. Anyway, he said you turned him down a few times, so you get points for keeping him on his toes."

"I didn't--" Brendon starts to argue, but the lights go down and the band comes out on stage. The whole group in the small VIP section stops what they're doing and watches the band. They're as awesome as Jon said they'd be.

+

After the show, everyone goes backstage to talk to the band. Tom spends a few minutes trying to get Jon to help with the equipment, but Jon, as it turns out, is a lazy fucker. Brendon doesn't mind though, so he helps with Tom while Jon talks to Cassie.

"So, Jon really has a thing for you," Tom says. They're carrying a heavy amp, and it's just the two of them.

"Oh," Brendon says. "I guess."

"Not asking," Tom says. "Okay, you're going to have to turn that way." Tom gestures with his shoulder and they turn before pushing the amp into the van. "Here's the thing. I don't know you, and maybe you're a great guy, but you wouldn't be the first person to use Jon. If that's what this is about, back the fuck off now because I don't want to have to punch you or anything."

"I don't--" Brendon blinks a few times, just staring at Tom. "Okay."

"Look, you don't seem like the type, but I don't know you, and we may not be tabloid material, but we have some pretty fucking crazy fans. Jon won't listen to me about it, so I thought I'd appeal to your potential sense of kindness. If you're using him for some sick, twisted reason, back off."

 

"I'm not," Brendon says. "I'm really not."

"Good, so we're clear," Tom says. "I think he's waiting."

Brendon turns around, and Jon is standing with Cassie still, but he's looking over at Brendon. Brendon nods at Tom before heading toward Jon and Cassie. "You ready to go?" Jon asks.

"Yeah," Brendon says. "It was nice to meet you, Cassie.”

"You too, Brendon. You boys have fun," Cassie says. She winks at Jon and goes to join the rest of the band and their friends.

"So, your friends," Brendon says.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"This was totally a test, wasn't it?" Brendon laughs. "I didn't figure it out until I was talking to Tom."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jon says.

"Fine, play it that way," Brendon says. He feels a lot better now, and he's itching to spend some more time with Jon. "We should go somewhere else."

"I think I have an idea," Jon says. He takes Brendon's hand as they walk to his car, and Brendon doesn't feel weird about it. It feels pretty amazing, actually.

+

They end up at an all night coffee shop. It's dim and quiet, and Brendon likes it right away. He'll have to remember to tell Ryan and Spencer about it later. Jon buys them lattes and they sit in the corner.

"So, Cassie," Brendon says. He's wanted to ask about her all night. It had clicked in the car how he recognized her. She was supposedly Jon's on and off girlfriend, going back a long while.

"I've known Cassie since I was sixteen," Jon says. "I guess she was my high school sweetheart, or whatever. We dated for a couple years, and then when I graduated and the guys and I started recording and touring and getting bigger, it just stopped working."

"Oh," Brendon says.

"Well, and you know, I told her I was into dudes," Jon says, shrugging.

"Oh." Brendon figures it's obvious what he thought, so he doesn't say it. "Well, she's awesome."

"Yeah," Jon says. "She thought you were awesome too." Jon grins. "Gave her seal of approval and everything."

"Tom threatened to punch me in the face," Brendon says. Jon looks up at him, shocked, and Brendon says, "No, I mean--I guess he thought maybe I was being some crazy stalker or something. Which, fair enough. But I'm not."

"No," Jon says. "I know that."

"Anyway, my point was that they're awesome friends."

"I _suppose_ ," Jon says. "This latte is gross."

"You're a coffee snob, aren't you?" Brendon says.

"Might be," Jon says. "But like I said earlier, even shitty coffee is still coffee."

"Ryan is going to love you," Brendon says, laughing. "I didn't think anyone loved coffee as much as him."

"When do I get to meet Ryan?" Jon says. "And does meeting Ryan mean we get to do this again?"

"I assumed--I mean, I don't know. Do you want to?" Brendon asks.

"Yeah," Jon says. "I want to." He stands up and gestures toward door. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"Where are we going?"

"We're walking."

It's cool outside. It's barely March, and it's not quite spring yet. Jon's wearing flip flops, and Brendon wonders if his toes are cold. "I love Chicago," Jon says. "I bitch a lot, but this city is amazing."

"Yeah," Brendon says. He wasn't sure at first. He came here because he had a scholarship and because it wasn't Vegas, but he likes it. He likes it more right this moment than he ever has before.

"Spring break is a couple weeks away, isn't it?"

"Yeah, week after next," Brendon says. He can't wait. He'll probably spend half of it studying, but he could use a few days where he doesn't have to think about school.

"You going anywhere?"

"Nah, Ryan and Spencer are staying too, and I think we're just going to do a lot of hanging out in front of the TV." Brendon pauses briefly. He wants to ask if maybe he can hang out with Jon over spring break, but he's kind of new to wanting someone who wants him back, and he's not sure how to ask without sounding completely ridiculous. "When do you get back from LA?"

"I'm there for a week," Jon says. "Then we come back here to get cracking."

"I thought you'd been working for a while," Brendon says. Some day he's going to not say things that make him seem like he's some kind of internet creep.

Jon shrugs. "Yeah, sort of. I don't know." They walk in not-quite-awkward silence for a while before Jon stops and says, "It's like nothing's working, you know? We're not really _fighting_ , but none of us are coming up with anything that sounds good to the other two. We're under all of this pressure to make this amazing second album because the first one did so well, and--I don't know. It fucking sucks."

Brendon frowns. He doesn't know how the whole professional music thing works, so it's not like anything he says is really an informed opinion, but "You'll be fine. I'm sure of it."

Jon laughs, quietly, not sarcastic or mocking, just quietly. He smiles at Brendon and starts walking again. Brendon falls into step next to him, and they walk like that for a while, until Jon takes Brendon's hand. Brendon tries not to look too shocked and then smiles over at Jon. The feeling in the pit of his stomach is spreading all over his body and he feels sort of lightheaded but in an amazing way, like he's had just a little too much to drink.

"I don't want to take you home, you know," Jon says. "It probably sounds lame, but I kind of just want to keep walking around."

Brendon laughs and says, "Won't you need your car at some point?"

"I guess." Jon shrugs.

Brendon feels like maybe he's done something wrong from the shift in Jon's mood. He frowns a little. "Hey, come on." He tugs on Jon's hand, pulling him around a corner. "Let's walk. We'll come back to the car later."

Jon squeezes Brendon's hand and smiles. They keep walking.

+

Brendon doesn't know what time it is or how long they've been walking. They've talked about everything from books to movies to their most inspirational bands. They have more in common than Brendon ever would have realized, and he's learned a surprising amount about Jon, considering he already knows more than he really should.

Like, Jon loves Aladdin. He can sing it backwards and forwards, but he likes Beauty and the Beast more. He loves The Sandlot, and he always has season tickets to see the Cubs, even though nowadays he's not really around to go.

"We should head back to the car," Jon says. He laughs quietly, running a hand through his hair. "If I can remember where the car is. We kind of got turned around, didn't we?"

"A little bit. I think...this way?" Brendon says, motioning for Jon to follow him. "I am totally awesome at retracing my steps."

"Good thing one of us is," Jon says.

It doesn't take them very long to find their way back to the car. They're halfway back to campus when Jon says, "So, we're going to do this again, right? I mean, you aren't thinking about how I'm fucking lame for a rockstar and maybe this was a bad idea, are you?"

"What?" Brendon asks. "No way. Seriously. We are totally going to do this again, and often, I hope." He grins over at Jon and sees that Jon is grinning back.

"So, I'll call you when I get back from LA? We'll go out."

"Yeah, definitely," Brendon says.

Jon parks at the curb outside of Brendon's dorm. It's late enough that it could be considered early, and there's sunlight vaguely peeking out from the horizon. Jon walks Brendon to the door. He says, "Yeah, so..." and looks down at his feet. It's really really cute, and Brendon thinks _yes, this is the best thing that has ever happened._

"Yeah," Brendon says.

Jon looks at him. He looks nervous as he steps in and closes the gap between them, but his lips are soft on Brendon's, and it's amazing all the same. Kissing Jon is _awesome_. Brendon wraps his arms around Jon's shoulders as Jon's hands lightly grip Brendon's hips. The kiss is soft, quiet. There's a question in it; Brendon can practically feel the _is this okay_ pouring from Jon's mouth into his, and it is. It's so okay.

It seems like forever before they separate. Brendon breathes a couple of times. Jon ducks his head and says, "Yeah, so...I'll call you. I will."

"I know," Brendon says, and he does.

+

"Wow," Spencer says.

"Yeah," Brendon says. He's at Ryan and Spencer's on Sunday afternoon, telling them all about his awesome date with Jon the night (and morning) before. He might have exaggerated some or left some things out, but nothing that would change how completely awesome Brendon feels right now.

"I actually don't want to ruin this by mocking you." Ryan looks like he couldn't care less about ruining Brendon's awesome night.

"Yeah, right." Brendon is skeptical of Ryan's disinterest in mocking him.

"You're right," Ryan says. "Seriously, Brendon. You're, like, fucking dating a rockstar. This is hilarious."

"It is not. Anyway, Jon's not _really_ a rockstar. He's just in a band that happens to be kind of well known. He's just a normal guy."

"That's not what you said two days ago," Spencer says.

"That's what I'm saying now." Brendon looks at them in challenge, silently daring them to question him.

"Awesome," Spencer says. "So when do we get to meet him?"

"He's going to LA for a week to do business stuff," Brendon says. "Then he's coming back to work for a while. I don't know."

"Well, his friends met you. It stands to reason that we should meet him, and soon," Spencer says.

"I'll ask him when he gets back to town," Brendon says. He kind of wants to keep Jon to himself for a while, but he doesn't think Spencer and Ryan will take no for an answer for very long.

"Whatever," Ryan says, like he doesn't care. Brendon knows that he does. "Did I tell you guys I have a date on Friday night?"

"Who is she this time?" Spencer asks, rolling his eyes.

"Mark," Ryan says. Brendon blinks and then looks over at Spencer, who is staring at Ryan open mouthed. "What? It's no big deal. Anyway, he's buying dinner."

"You," Spencer says, but he stops there. "You know what, do what you want." Spencer goes into the kitchen, leaving Brendon and Ryan alone.

"What's his problem?" Ryan says. Brendon rolls his eyes. Ryan can be a big idiot sometimes, and as much as both Brendon and Spencer love him, sometimes it's frustrating. Brendon sighs and follows Spencer.

"So, what's up?" Brendon says.

"I don't want to talk about it," Spencer says. He takes some pasta out of the cabinet and then some ingredients for sauce. The thing about Spencer is that sometimes he cooks when he's stressed or angry. As bad as Brendon feels about it, he kind of loves Spencer's cooking. Brendon's thinking about teasing him about it when Spencer slams a knife down on the counter. "He is so fucking frustrating."

"Well, yeah. He's Ryan. His middle name is Frustrating."

Spencer lets out a loud groan and falls into a chair at the table. Brendon's never understood why they have a kitchen table. No one uses it. "It's just--like, I thought--I mean, if he ever--it would be--"

"Spencer, you need to finish your sentences," Brendon says.

"I thought it would be me," Spencer says, quiet enough that Brendon's not sure he heard him right.

"Oh," Brendon says. "Wow."

"Don't, okay?" Spencer sighs a little and goes even quieter. "Just don't."

Brendon walks over and sits across from Spencer at the table. He's awkward at the best of times and he doesn't know what to say. It turns out not to be an issue because Ryan's saying, "How long?" from the doorway before either of them have the chance to break the silence.

Spencer doesn't say anything. He looks at Ryan with hurt and maybe a little bit of anger. "I said _how long_?" Ryan says, spitting out the words like they're something dirty. Spencer's face falls but he doesn't answer.

The door slams before Brendon has a chance to stop Ryan from leaving.

+

 _airprts r boring_

Brendon laughs, looking at the display on his phone. It's Monday morning, and it's seven a.m., and he just got woken up by his phone beeping, but somehow he doesn't really care. Because _Jon_ is texting him from the airport. Jon has lots of friends he could be texting, and he chose Brendon.

 _what time do u take off?_

Brendon rolls out of bed and starts shuffling around for clothes. His roommate is still asleep, and Brendon's almost willing to wake his ass up, as he was on the computer until four a.m. playing stupid RPGs or whatever, and Brendon was cranky enough when he got in from dealing with Ryan and Spencer's shit. He's thoughtful though, so he makes a minimal amount of noise.

 _abt 15 mins wish i wsnt going_

Brendon isn't sure if Jon wishes he could stay and hang out with Brendon or wishes he didn't have to go to a week of meetings. He doesn't want to seem too hopeful, so he doesn't respond. He grabs his phone and heads out of the dorm. He doesn't have class for another hour, but Ryan should be getting to his creative writing class in the next ten minutes. He hadn't come home the night before, and Spencer is probably still worried and angry. That makes Brendon worried and angry.

His phone beeps again. He looks at the text from Jon and smiles. _bden? oh well boarding now. ttyl? :)_ Brendon sends back a quick _yeah_ and heads to cut Ryan off before he can get into his class.

He can tell that when Ryan sees him he almost turns off and heads the other direction. He seems to change his mind at the very last second and sighs. "Hey."

"You really fucked up last night," Brendon says. It's probably harsh, but Ryan needs to hear it. "He's fucking scared. You didn't go home."

"He's not my mother," Ryan snaps. "And he's definitely not my boyfriend."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Ryan. He may not be your boyfriend, but he's your best friend, and you're being an asshole."

"Just because some big shot rockstar wants to make you their Chicago fuck doesn't give you the right to dispense out advice," Ryan says.

"Fuck you, Ryan. We're not talking about me," Brendon says. That's not what he is, and he knows it. He _knows_.

"If Spencer wants to talk to me, he can call me. Otherwise, I don't really have anything to say," Ryan says.

"You know that's a lie. You wouldn't be acting like such a dickhead if you didn't give a shit. Go talk to him," Brendon says. Ryan's either going to listen or he's not, and Brendon can't make him do anything. He leaves Ryan standing in the door to his classroom.

+

Brendon's sick of studying. He's got the room to himself, and he really just wants to watch a movie or something, but he's studying for this stupid Algebra midterm, and he wants to burn the book. Spencer had texted to tell him that Ryan had come home about half an hour ago, and Brendon figures it's probably not the best time to go over. Someone's bound to throw something, and Brendon doesn't want to get caught in the crossfire.

He's contemplating throwing the book on the floor and pouring water over it when his phone rings. He expects it to be Spencer, but it's Jon. "Hello?"

"Hey, Brendon," Jon says. "So, I was sitting here and just really really needed to listen to you talk."

Brendon laughs. Jon's kind of ridiculous. "That's kind of weird, Jon. We've been on one date."

"But it was a really amazing date," Jon says. Brendon smiles. There's a slight pause before Jon continues. "Anyway, if you're busy, I can let you go. I was just kind of bored."

"No," Brendon says. "I'm good, just trying to study for this stupid midterm." Jon laughs quietly on the other end of the line. "How's LA?"

"It's LA. We're all at Pete's. Nick and Tom are arguing over who gets the biggest bedroom." Jon sighs. "I kind of want to go home."

"It's only a week," Brendon says. He doesn't know what Jon is doing in LA, not exactly, but he doesn't really want to intrude either. It's not like Jon is really his boyfriend, and nothing to do with Jon is really his business.

"It's just like, I love making music and recording and touring, but I fucking hate this part. I knew what I was signing up for when we signed the contracts, but I sort of wish I could tour and play without having to deal with managers and record companies, you know?" Jon sighs.

"I don't really," Brendon says, laughing quietly. "But you can tell me, or whatever. I mean, I'm listening."

"I don't know," Jon says. "Basically what I just said." He laughs quietly. "God, I wish I was in Chicago right now. I could be distracting you from studying by making out with you. That would be a lot more fun than unloading all of my whining on you."

"I don't mind," Brendon says. "Anyway, it's more fun than Algebra, at least." Jon laughs, and Brendon loves the knowledge that he made that happen.

"Thanks, Brendon." Someone yells in the background. "Fuck. Nick and Tom are trying to kill each other or something. I should probably go play ring leader."

"Yeah, okay," Brendon says.

"Hey, I'll call you later, alright?" Jon asks. Brendon nods, and before he realizes that Jon can't actually see him, the line's gone dead.

+

Jon doesn't call later. Jon doesn't call again for the whole week. Brendon doesn't hear from Ryan or Spencer either, but he's so busy studying and practicing in the music building that he doesn't really notice until Friday after his Algebra midterm when he realizes that he's been cut off from everyone.

He sends Spencer a quick text to ask if they're hanging out tonight, but Spencer doesn't reply back right away, so Brendon takes it as a no. He thinks about texting Jon, but he doesn't know when Jon's getting back. He'd never said.

He decides to walk to Starbucks instead of going back to his dorm. Friday nights are hardcore RPG nights, and Brendon doesn't want to be around for that. He goes straight to a table in the back and pulls out his composition book. He's halfway through working on a song for his Music Composition class. It's slow going, but it's not terrible.

He's scratching out half of the second verse when his phone rings. He doesn't look at the display before he answers it. "Brendon speaking."

"I love that you answer your phone like that," Jon says.

"Hey." Brendon smiles into his phone. "What's up?"

"I'm in a cab on my way home from the airport and thought maybe you'd want to hang out tonight. Unless you've got plans, I mean."

"Nah," Brendon says. "I'm at Starbucks working on music. You should meet me here."

"Yeah, okay." Brendon might be imagining it, but he thinks that he can hear Jon's smile. "The same one, right?"

"Yeah," Brendon says, smiling wider. "The same one."

Jon hangs up and less than half an hour later, he's sitting across from Brendon. "Is that your music?" Jon asks.

Brendon nods. "Yeah, sort of. I don't really know what it is yet," he says, shrugging.

"Can I see?"

"Uhm, I guess?" Brendon says. Not even Spencer and Ryan have seen, but Jon does this for a living, and the worst that could happen is that Jon laughs him out of Starbucks because they're so awful. Brendon slides the notebook across the table so that Jon can look at the page. It's just a scribbling of words right now. There are things crossed out and written over and circled if he really likes them. It's nonsense.

"Shit, Brendon," Jon says.

 

"That bad, huh?" Brendon shrugs. "It's not where I want it yet."

"No, it's not--" Jon shakes his head, sliding the notebook back over to Brendon. "Those are good, seriously."

"You think so?" Brendon can't really believe that someone whose music he loves, someone that he's _into_ is telling him that his lyrics are good.

"Definitely."

Brendon tries not to smile. He puts the notebook away and looks at Jon. "So, what are we doing?"

"I don't know. Do you have plans at all?"

"Well, Ryan and Spencer are both ignoring me, so no," he says. "I'm all yours. I mean--like, we can hang out, or whatever."

Jon laughs quietly. "Come on, let's get out of here." Brendon follows him out of the coffee shop and onto the sidewalk. "Do you want to see my place?"

"Uh, sure, okay." Brendon's not sure what it means to be invited back to a rockstar's place, even if it's one that you're possibly dating. He's pretty sure that whatever it is, he really doesn't mind.

Jon's place isn't really far. They walk there, and he tells Brendon about LA and how ridiculous Pete is. Jon tells him about all the stupid fights Tom and Nick got into and how he really just wanted to come home the entire time. They get to his building, and it's not really as nice as Brendon expects. The outside is dingy and run down.

The inside is different. Jon's apartment is huge with big windows in the living room so there must be a lot of natural light during the day. "So, this is my place. Usually there are cats, but Cass watches them when I'm out of town."

"This is an awesome place," Brendon says.

"Yeah, well, I'm not actually here much, but it does the job okay." Jon shrugs. "Make yourself at home."

Brendon sits on the end of the sofa--the _really_ comfortable sofa. He leans his head back and closes his eyes and relaxes. He could live on this sofa. It's a lot softer than the bed that was provided to him by the school.

"Oh, now that's just not fair," Jon says. Brendon looks up and Jon is holding out a beer for him. "You shouldn't sit around my house looking like that. I can't make out with you _all_ the time."

Brendon laughs. "I don't know, I probably wouldn't complain." It surprises him how easy it is to be around Jon now that Brendon knows more about him. More than just birthdays and band histories and random facts that anyone can find on the internet.

"Oh? Is that a hint?" Jon asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe," Brendon says. He takes Jon's wrist and pulls him down onto the sofa. "So, I kind of need to do this right now." Brendon leans in so he can kiss Jon. It's soft at first, soft and dry and not much more than a press of lips. Jon pulls back, pressing his forehead against Brendon's and licking his lips before closing the distance between them again.

Jon's hands settle at the small of Brendon's back. Brendon doesn't feel like he's quite as close to Jon as he wants to be so he pulls away just enough so that he can lie back flat on the sofa and pull Jon on top of him. "Much better," Brendon mumbles, kissing Jon again. Jon hums softly; Brendon feels it on his lips and it sends a little shock through his whole body. It's still not enough. Their legs are tangled together and they're touching everywhere, from hip to shoulder, but there are too many clothes and it's too _hot_.

Brendon wants more.

"Jon, Jon," he whispers against Jon's mouth. It's like Jon _knows_ because he runs his hands up Brendon's sides, underneath his shirt, pulling Brendon up far enough that he can get Brendon's shirt up over his head. Having his shirt off is so much better, except now Jon's still wearing a shirt. Brendon thinks clothes are stupid, and Jon must agree because his shirt is suddenly gone too. He lies back on top of Brendon, skin to skin and it feels so, so good.

Jon kisses Brendon again, a soft press of lips to the corner of Brendon's mouth. He kisses down Brendon's jawline, and Brendon can feel Jon's breath warm on his cheek. Jon drags his lips down Brendon's throat, leaving a trail of warm, open-mouthed kisses as he moves down to Brendon's collarbone. Brendon feels like his skin is burning up every where Jon's mouth touches, like Jon is branding him with lips and teeth and tongue.

Jon moves to Brendon's chest, sucking lightly on Brendon's nipple. Brendon arches his chest and makes an embarrassingly needy noise in the back of his throat. Jon smiles against Brendon's skin.

"I've wanted this for so long," he says.

Brendon makes another noise, higher and more frantic than the one before. It's crazy what Jon's words do to him. His whole body feels strung tight, pulled and stretched and begging for some kind of relief.

Jon scoots up, straddling Brendon's hips. He kisses Brendon's mouth again softly. It's not nearly enough, and Brendon tangles his fingers in Jon's hair and pulls him closer, moaning when Jon finally gives him more.

Brendon's hard now, and he knows Jon can tell. Jon rolls his hips once slowly before he works Brendon's pants open. All Brendon can think about is Jon's mouth and how good it felt on his neck and chest. He want's Jon's mouth everywhere, anywhere he can get it. Brendon lifts his hips up so Jon can get his pants down, and Jon makes quick work of them, tossing Brendon's jeans and underwear on to the floor.

Brendon doesn't think it's very fair for either of them that he's naked and Jon's still wearing pants. He starts fumbling with the button of Jon's jeans, his fingers dragging clumsily along Jon's zipper until Jon hisses and bats his hands away. Jon rolls off the couch, undoing his pants as he goes. He kicks out of them and straddles Brendon again.

Jon's skin feels hotter than Brendon expected it to. It makes Brendon want to reach out and touch him everywhere. He slides his palms down Jon's sides to his hips and smiles to himself when Jon shivers under his hands.

Jon stretches back out over Brendon, covering Brendon's entire body with his own. "Want you," Jon whispers into Brendon's ear. Jon rolls his hips against Brendon's, creating friction against Brendon's cock that has Brendon's eyes rolling back in his head.

"Fuck," Brendon says.

He feels everything, Jon's hand in his hair, Jon's chest pressed against his own, Jon's legs entangled with his as Jon grinds down against him. Jon gives his hips one more slow roll before he reaches between their bodies and takes both of their cocks in his hand.

Brendon bites his bottom lip hard and tries to keep himself from moaning pathetically. Jon's hand is creating the perfect amount of pressure, their cocks rubbing against each other through the circle of Jon's fist, and Brendon is suddenly scared he's going to come embarrassingly fast.

Jon continues thrusting in rhythm with his hand, creating more friction. He keeps mouthing at Brendon's neck, his tongue flicking out to lick at the sweat Brendon knows is gathering there. It's so hot, being this close, having Jon want him this much, and Brendon doesn't know how much longer he's going to last.

Brendon thrusts his hand between them, and bumps Jon's hand, their fingers tangling together awkwardly until they straighten them out. Brendon wants to help get Jon off, but he also just wants to touch Jon anywhere he can. He follows Jon's lead. Jon tucks his head into the crook of Brendon's neck. His breath his steady but heavy, and it's warm on Brendon's skin. Everything is so hot, and too much but not enough at the same time.

"Jon, Jon," he whispers, gripping at Jon's shoulder with his other hand. Jon moans something that sounds like Brendon's name but it stops dead in Brendon's skin. Jon bites down on Brendon's shoulder, not enough to break the skin, but enough to cause Brendon to groan in pain and pleasure at the same time.

Brendon can feel himself getting close, tries to hang on a little bit longer, but he moans out Jon's name, loudly, too loudly and then everything goes dark for a moment and Jon keeps stroking him all the way through it. He's breathing heavy and his whole body feels limp, but he still feels like he could run a mile. Jon thrusts into Brendon's hand, and Brendon remembers what he was doing.

He tightens his grip on Jon's cock, creating a new rhythm, faster, and Jon presses his forehead to Brendon's and closes his eyes. It's not much longer before he's coming, and falling limply on top of Brendon.

Jon fits against Brendon's body in this weird way where it doesn't seem like he would. He's bulkier and roughly the same height, and it just feels _right_ , to have him lying there, head on Brendon's shoulder, hand between their bodies, running his thumb across Brendon's hip in a steady motion. Brendon wants this all the time

"We're gross," Jon mumbles. Brendon can feel him smiling. "I'm going to have to get the sofa steam cleaned."

"You should do something about that," Brendon says, laughing. "I can't. You're on top of me."

Jon laughs and rolls off the couch. He disappears into the hallway and comes back a couple of minutes later with a wet washcloth and wipes at Brendon's stomach and thighs. "Mm, do that again," Brendon says. Jon laughs, tossing the now dirty rag into the floor. "That's gross. You should go put it in the hamper or something."

Jon settles on top of Brendon and closes his eyes. "Later," he says. "I'm really comfortable." There's a brief pause before he says, "We're totally doing this again."

"Mm," Brendon says. "Yeah. Definitely."

"Brendon?" Brendon can tell that Jon's on his way to falling asleep like this. He _hms_ in response and waits for Jon's answer. Jon mumbles something that Brendon can't make out. He thinks he makes out the words _LA_ and _you_ somewhere, but he can't be sure.

+

It can't be more than a few hours later when Brendon wakes up. It's dark now, and Brendon's alone, but there's a blanket on top of him. He wraps himself in the blanket and goes to find Jon. Jon has his headphones on and is singing along to The Beach Boys. Brendon leans on the door frame and smiles, watching him.

Jon turns around to get something from the cabinet and jumps when he sees Brendon standing in the doorway. "Hey," he says, pulling his headphones out.

"You can keep going, I was enjoying the show." Brendon winks, and Jon walks over and wraps his arms around him. "Mm, this is good, too."

"Yeah, I thought it might be." Jon laughs quietly and lets go. "It's like nine, but I thought, well, I haven't eaten since that shitty food on the plane, and I don't know if you're hungry, but I'm starving, so, I'm making dinner.”

"You cook, too?"

"Not really. How do you feel about macaroni?" Jon holds up a box and shakes it.

"I love it," Brendon says, grinning.

"Good because my cooking skills are pretty much non-existent." Brendon walks into the kitchen and jumps up onto the counter, sitting in an empty spot by the sink and kicking his feet while he watches Jon make dinner.

It's weirdly domestic, considering Brendon isn't even really sure what they are right now. This could be a kiss off dinner for all he knows. He doesn't think it is, though, and Jon certainly doesn't seem like he's getting ready to give Brendon the brush off.

"Sorry, I'm going to be kind of a shitty boyfriend," Jon says. "I'm hardly ever in town, I can't cook, and I'll probably forget your birthday."

"Did you just say you were going to be a shitty boyfriend?" Brendon asks. He tries to hold back his smile.

"Yeah, sorry." Jon's stirring the noodles with the butter, pouring in the powdered cheese. Brendon thinks he could get used to being like this.

"No, I just mean, is that what this is?" Brendon isn't cold, but he wraps the blanket tighter around himself anyway. "Are you, like, my boyfriend?"

Jon puts the spoon down and looks at Brendon. "That's what I thought. Unless--I mean, unless that's not what you want."

"No." Brendon laughs. "No, that's definitely what I want."

"Good," Jon says, smiling. He turns back to the stove. "Oh, hey, dinner's ready."

Brendon could definitely get used to this.

+

Jon's bed, as it turns out, is even more comfortable than his sofa. The bed is big enough for two people to spread out and have as much room as they need, but Brendon has opted to get as close to Jon as possible. They're lying together, making out, touching, but mostly just existing in each other's space. The closeness is nice, and Brendon really wants the chance to get used to it.

"Yeah, I guess we're going to lock ourselves together in an abandoned building all day or something and see what happens," Jon says. "I don't know. It's not that I'm worried about _us_. We'll always be friends. I'm just afraid we can't do this, even if everyone expects us to."

Brendon wants to tell Jon it's going to be fine, but he doesn't really know if would even be reassuring coming from him. He doesn't know anything about the music industry. He knows that 504 is good, and he knows that Jon's an awesome songwriter, but maybe that's not enough.

"Sorry," Jon says. "I worry about this shit too much. It's just so much pressure, you know."

"Oh, trust me, I understand pressure," Brendon says. He pauses and then says, "Okay, here's the thing, I don't actually know you very well yet, and I definitely don't know a lot about music as an industry, but you guys are good. If it's going to happen, it will, and if it's not, you'll do something else."

Jon looks at Brendon for a second and then leans in and kisses him. "You're amazing," he whispers.

"Yeah, well, I do my best." Brendon grins, and Jon laughs.

"You're still not doing anything for spring break?" Jon asks. Brendon just shakes his head. "Why aren't you going home, at least? Get away from this place for a while.”

"Nah," Brendon says. "There's nothing to do there either."

"You didn't go home for the holidays either," Jon says. Brendon thinks this conversation is probably going to a place where he doesn't really want to go. He can't really change the subject now though, after Jon's unloaded all of his career doubts on Brendon.

"No, I didn't."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated," Brendon says. Jon doesn't push, and somehow that only makes it worse. "My parents didn't want me coming to Chicago, and they definitely didn't want me coming to Chicago on a music scholarship. We sort of haven't spoken in almost a year."

"Wow," Jon says.

"Yeah, I don't know. It's stupid, I guess. I could have gone where they wanted and taken some music classes there, majored in something else, but..."

"This is what you wanted," Jon says.

"Yeah. Anyway, I love Chicago. And I met Ryan and Spencer here, so I wouldn't change things." Brendon also met Jon here. "I still kind of hope they come around some day though, you know?"

"Of course you do," Jon says. He wraps an arm around Brendon's waist, pulling him even closer. "It's late." Brendon appreciates the change in subject.

+

Brendon finally hears from Spencer the Thursday before spring break starts. He tells Brendon that he and Ryan have talked and that they're fine, but it's kind of weird. And that they've decided to go home for spring break. Brendon's kind of annoyed that now he has to spend that alone too, but knowing Jon will be around makes it a little better.

The only problem is that once spring break comes around, Jon's really busy, day and night. He's writing with Nick and Tom sixteen hours a day, and he doesn't really have time for Brendon to be hanging around. Brendon's starting to see what Jon meant about being a shitty boyfriend.

It's not that Jon does it on purpose or anything, and Brendon gets that he's working, but it kind of sucks that they've only been dating for a couple of weeks and the newness is already wearing off. He doesn't want to be that kind of person though, and it's not like he doesn't realize how easily Jon could drop him for someone else, so he doesn't mention it.

He mostly spends the time hanging out on campus. There aren't a lot of people around, so the practice rooms are always empty, and Brendon ends up spending a lot of time there. He texts Ryan and Spencer a few times, but they're both busy at home.

On Wednesday, Jon finally calls him. It's almost nine at night, and Brendon's so bored he's actually thinking about working on his history research paper that's due the week before finals. His phone rings and he answers it on the first ring, not even looking at the display.

"Yo," Brendon says.

"Hey," Jon says. "So, I was wondering if you're busy."

"Oh, totally. I've got, like, five parties lined up, and then there was this girl, I was going to hook up with her at around eleven," Brendon says, completely seriously. "Why? Did you need something?"

"Asshole," Jon says, fondly. "Wanna come over?"

"Well, I guess if I move things around--" Brendon hears Jon groan on the other end. He laughs and says, "Yeah, I'll come over. Give me twenty minutes."

Brendon waits a few minutes to leave, just because he feels like he should make Jon wait as long as possible. It's petty, but it makes a lot of sense in his head. When he gets to Jon's, Jon answers the door in sweatpants, with his hair falling into his eyes. He looks tired, and he smiles at Brendon and motions him in.

"Glad you could find time in your busy schedule," Jon says.

"Well, I had to reschedule my date with Candi, and she says that you have to be there now that you've ruined it for us. So, next Saturday, naked laser tag, you in?"

"Naked laser tag?" Jon says, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I'm curious."

"Awesome, I'll call Candi," Brendon says. Jon starts laughing first, and then Brendon follows.

Jon pulls Brendon over to the sofa by his wrist, lying down and pulling Brendon down on top of him. "It has been the longest week ever."

"Anything I can do?" Brendon says, kissing Jon quickly on the lips. "I hear I'm pretty good at relieving tension." He wiggles his eyebrows dramatically.

"Mm, this is better. Just don't ask me if I really think that bassline works with that drum beat. I really don't give a fuck right now."

"I guess it's not going well?" Brendon asks.

"Not bad." Jon closes his eyes, sighing. "Can we not talk about it?"

Brendon nods. "Yeah." He thinks maybe Jon _needs_ to talk about it, but he can't really say anything about someone avoiding their problems. He's avoiding enough problems for everyone he knows and then some. So he just settles into Jon, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his face into the crook of Jon's neck.

"So much better," Jon mumbles into Brendon's hair. "Thanks for coming."

"Not like I had anything better to do," Brendon says.

"What about Candi?" Brendon feels Jon smile.

"Eh, I like you better," Brendon says. "Don't tell her that, though. She might break our date."

Jon laughs quietly and turns his head so that he's facing Brendon. It's an awkward position at best, but Jon kisses the corner of Brendon's mouth and closes his eyes. "Sorry I haven't been around. I really suck at this whole dating thing."

"You're not that bad," Brendon says. Jon kind of is that bad, but Brendon's not thinking about that now that he's lying here with Jon, comfortable and close on the sofa. Jon makes a soft sound of disagreement, but he drops the subject. "Wanna hang out tomorrow?" Brendon asks. He knows it's not likely, but he wants to ask anyway.

"Can't," Jon says. "I have to meet Tom and Nick early."

"Yeah, I thought you probably would be," Brendon says. He tries not to sound as disappointed as he really is. "I just thought, you know, I'd ask. I'm just bored." Brendon laughs quietly. "There's not a lot to do around campus when everyone's off in Mexico or Florida or other warm, beach locations getting drunk, instead of in frat houses getting drunk."

"Where are Ryan and Spencer?"

"Vegas. I don't know, they're having issues, and I don't really know what's going on with them." Brendon is going to have to corner Spencer and talk to him when he gets back to Chicago. They're his best friends, and he figures that it sort of sucks that he has no clue if they're even really speaking to each other. He doesn't really blame them for wanting to deal with their shit alone, but it sucks nonetheless.

"Maybe you can come hang out tomorrow night," Jon says. "We're going to try and get some actual work done and then Sean's band is playing again, some party somewhere."

A party doesn't sound so bad. "Cool," Brendon says.

"Awesome," Jon says. "You can hang here tomorrow, if you want, make yourself at home. I guess it's not much better than being bored at the dorms, but at least Dylan and Clover are here?" Jon laughs, and Brendon feels it all over.

"I might take you up on that," Brendon says. They're quiet for a few minutes and then Brendon says, "How's it going, by the way?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it," Jon says. It's not mean, but it's forceful and Brendon frowns.

"I didn't mean that. I meant how are _you_? You look like you haven't slept in a week."

"Sorry," Jon mumbles. "I've gotten a little bit of sleep. Probably not enough."

Brendon pushes himself up and takes Jon's hand. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"You're going to bed to get actual sleep, or I'm leaving." Brendon tugs Jon until he stands and then pushes him into the bedroom.

"It's early," Jon says. He's whiny, and it might be cute if it weren't annoying. "We're hanging out."

"No, you're sleeping. I'll be here in the morning before you leave, and we'll hang out tomorrow. You're exhausted."

Jon groans but gets underneath the blankets anyway. Brendon climbs over him to the other side of the bed and lies down. Dylan glares at him from his spot on the edge of the bed. Brendon gets the feeling that Dylan doesn't like him very much, but Jon says he's just being paranoid. He's not imagining that Dylan gives him an angry look before jumping off the bed and prancing out of the room, though. He knows he's not.

"I'm really not that tired," Jon mumbles, but he's already half asleep and Brendon can tell. Brendon just laughs quietly, wrapping an arm around Jon's middle. Jon _hms_ quietly. Brendon's not tired at all, but he doesn't go anywhere.

+

"Fuck!" Jon jolts up, waking Brendon. "Shit, fuck." There's sunlight pouring in from outside, and somewhere a phone is ringing. "Fuck, why didn't I set an alarm?"

Brendon looks at the clock on Jon's bedside table; It's nearly two already. Jon flips through his closet pulling out the first shirt and jeans that he finds. He finds his phone and answers, spitting out a hurried apology and saying that he'll be there as quick as he can.

"Fuck, sorry, Bren, I have to go. I'm already an hour late," Jon says. He's rushing. "I shouldn't have slept so long. Fuck." Brendon bites back the urge to tell Jon that he slept that long because he obviously _needed_ it. "I'll see you tonight." Jon doesn't wait for Brendon to respond before he rushes out of the room and Brendon hears the door slam closed.

Brendon lets his head fall back on the pillow. Clover jumps onto the bed and lays down on Jon's pillow, staring at Brendon. She tilts her head and then starts licking Brendon in the face. Her tongue is rough and it's kind of annoying. Brendon pets her anyway.

"You're probably hungry, huh?" Brendon says. Clover doesn't answer him, obviously, but she pulls back away from his face and stares at him. Clover likes him a lot more than Dylan does. "Come on," Brendon says, picking her up as he rolls off the bed. "Let's see what Jon has for you, okay?"

Brendon feels a little crazy talking to Jon's cat, but Jon had left before he could get a word out, and she's there. He goes through the kitchen and finds some cat food. He puts some in Dylan's bowl too, hoping that he'll come out and eat it when he's ready. Probably when he's sure that Brendon's gone.

Brendon sits on the sofa and flips through the channels for a while, but he's bored, and he's still in the clothes that he not only wore yesterday but also fell asleep wearing. He turns off the TV and heads out of the apartment. He needs to go home and change clothes, and he could really use a latte. He doesn't know how long Jon's going to be with Tom and Nick, and as much as he loves Jon's apartment, he doesn't really want to hang out there all day by himself.

He stops by the dorm, but not for longer than he needs to. He grabs his guitar and his bag before he heads out and then goes to one of the practice rooms. It's virtually empty; there's someone across the hall working on vocals, but there's no one in the piano room.

He settles on the bench, taking out his notebook and a pen, jotting some things down. The lyrics he's been working on are getting better, but they're no where near where he wants them. He taps out a beat on the paper with his pen and turns to the piano, playing a few quick bars and then scratching some notes out. Right now, the song is probably good enough to get a good grade, a great grade even, but it's still not where he _wants_ it.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He should probably at least check the display, but now that he's working, he doesn't really feel like talking to anyone. If it's Ryan or Spencer, they can wait a while. If it's Jon, they'll talk later. It's probably not anyone else.

He stays there for an hour or two (he loses track of time pretty quickly), before he decides he's gotten as much done as he's going to. He goes back to his dorm to drop his stuff off and then goes back out. He ends up just walking around for a while. It's late when his phone finally buzzes again, and he's somewhere on the other end of campus. He's probably circled the campus two and a half times, just burning energy.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and looks at the display; it's Spencer. He sighs and answers. "Hey."

"Hey, asshole, Ryan said you ignored his call earlier."

"I was in the practice room," Brendon says.

"Right, well, shouldn't you be having sex with your hot rockstar boyfriend or something?" Spencer asks. Brendon can hear Ryan laughing somewhere in the background, loud and filled with amusement.

"I guess you guys have stopped being jackasses to each other?" he says, avoiding the subject of Jon.

"Yeah, you could say that," Spencer says. There's a brief pause and then he adds, "We sort of made out. Kind of."

"How do you kind of make out with someone?"

"Okay, we made out a lot," Spencer says. "I guess we were both being stupid before."

"So are you guys dating now or something?" Brendon feels like he should be happy, but it's kind of weird, honestly. Spencer and Ryan have known each other forever, and Ryan's always been a jackass to the people he's dated. Spencer knows that better than anyone, and Brendon can't see it being that easy.

"I don't know," Spencer says. "It's complicated, you know?"

"Tell me about it," Brendon says.

"Something up with the hot rockstar?" Spencer says. Brendon hates that he can tell when Spencer's mocking him.

"His name is Jon, and I don't know... We're supposedly dating, but--oh, nevermind. I'm being stupid. Go make out with Ryan some more, maybe even have sex with him. Just don't fucking tell me about it."

Spencer laughs. Brendon rolls his eyes and hangs up the phone. He's at least glad that when they come back to Chicago they'll be on speaking terms again. Maybe he'll even see them. He starts heading back to his dorm when his phone buzzes again.

"I thought I told you to go fuck around with Ross," he says.

"What?"

"Oh, sorry, Jon. Hi," he says. "Sorry, I was just talking to Spencer, and, well-- nevermind. What's up?"

"You're gone," Jon says. "I kind of thought we were going to hang out when I got done tonight."

"Oh yeah, totally. Sorry, I had to get a change of clothes, and then I wanted to work a little bit on my song and then I ended up sort of wandering around campus for a while. We're still hanging out."

"Cool, meet me here in half an hour? We have to at least make an appearance at this party, but we can go grab something to eat first or something."

Brendon tells Jon he'll be there as soon as he can and hangs up. He takes his time getting to Jon's apartment.

+

They go to this little Thai place Jon knows before they head to the party. It's quiet and nearly empty, and Brendon really likes the atmosphere.

"I accidentally found this place a few months ago. I guess it's pretty new," Jon says, sliding into the small booth across from Brendon. "It's got awesome food, though."

It's not like the diner they went to on their first date. No one knows Jon's name, and no one bothers them. It's nice.

"So, I'm sorry this week sucked ass," Jon says. "I'm really shitty at balancing everything, and we're fucking ourselves over with this whole second album thing. We pretty much sit around arguing all day and then decide to fuck it."

"Maybe you guys need some time away from each other," Brendon says. It's stupid advice, and he regrets it the instant he says it. He can tell from the look on Jon's face that Jon thinks it's stupid too.

"I don't think you're wrong," Jon says. "I love Tom and Nick, but Jesus. I've spent every moment of my life with them for nearly the last two years, and before that it wasn't much better." Jon sighs. "It's touring, you know. It's touring and recording and being in a band that's sort of popular. I knew what I was signing up for, but fuck, it's still a lot."

Brendon frowns. He doesn't know what Jon's going through, and he can't pretend to. "You'll make it work," he says. It feels lame, but it's all that he can come up with.

Jon half smiles and pushes his empty plate away. "Yeah," he says. "I think I might just fuck off for a week, you know? Maybe in a few weeks if we get _anything_ done. Maybe I'll drive out of state or just disappear."

"How would the record company feel about that?"

"Fuck the record company," Jon says. He sighs and then shrugs. "I guess I'll have to deal with it. I know that we're never going to get anything done if we're constantly at each other's throats though."

"Well, I get out of school mid-May," Brendon says. He doesn't know _why_ he says it. He doesn't even know if this is going to last for a couple more months, but he says it, and he smiles.

"Oh really?" Jon says, smiling. "Well, maybe I'll just have to kidnap you. We can get the fuck out of Chicago for a while together."

"Maybe," Brendon says. He grins at Jon, and Jon grins back. Jon chooses that moment to reach across the table and take some noodles from Brendon's plate. He can't seem to care.

+

The party is kind of dull. It's a friend of a friend of Tom's, and not nearly enough people show up. When Jon and Brendon get there, they're already quickly running out of booze and Sean's band is crammed into a corner that barely holds their instruments.

Tom and Nick are glaring at Jon, alternating between just staring and hushed whispering. Cassie keeps rolling her eyes at them as she talks to Tom's girlfriend, Danielle. Jon sits down on a chair and pulls Brendon down to sit on the arm. Tom walks over to Danielle and says something about getting a beer and Cassie nods and walks over to Brendon and Jon.

"Hey guys," she says. "I see you decided to finally drag your asses to the 'party'." She uses sarcastic air quotes and everything. "I swear, I love Sean and the guys, but they can do so much better than this."

Jon laughs. "I think it was a favor. I'm not even sure they're getting paid."

"Of course they're not," Cassie says. "They need to start demanding payment in the form of actual money, rather than chips and cheap beer."

"I don't blame them," Jon says. "Fuck the money." Brendon thinks Jon probably doesn't really mean that, but he can't be sure.

Cassie frowns slightly. Jon just shrugs and lets his head fall back onto the back of the chair and closes his eyes. Brendon raises an eyebrow at Cassie. "Hey, Jon, I'm borrowing your boyfriend for a minute," Cassie says.

"Bring him back in one piece," Jon says, smirking slightly.

Cassie grabs Brendon's hand and drags him across the room into a corner. "Is he okay?"

Brendon shrugs. "I don't know. I think he's been fighting with Tom and Nick." Brendon doesn't know Jon well enough to gauge his moods yet. It really sucks because mostly all he wants to do is make Jon feel better.

Cassie shoots a look toward Tom and Danielle, who are huddled in the kitchen together, whispering. "They're having a hard time with this one, aren't they?"

"Kind of. I mean--I'm new, you know? I haven't been around for more than a few weeks. Was it like this before?"

"It was--" Cassie sighs. "No, it was easy, but they got signed and I don't think they expected the hugeness of it all. It's been an overwhelming couple of years, and they're under a lot of pressure."

"Do you think I'm making it worse?" It's not like Brendon doesn't realize that Jon having him to juggle on top of the band isn't making it harder. It's also not like Brendon can't tell that Tom doesn't really like him that much.

"No," Cassie says. "I mean--like you said, you're new, but he likes you. You guys'll find a balance, you know? It's hard." She smiles softly, maybe a little sadly. "We tried and couldn't make it work, but I don't know. He likes you. A lot."

"He doesn't know me _that_ well."

"He will," Cassie says. "Anyway." She nods her head, gesturing behind him and says, "I'll let you guys talk or whatever."

Jon comes up behind Brendon, grabbing his wrist and spinning him around. He smiles like he's unsure it's the right thing to do. "So, was she gossiping about me?"

"Just asking about you," Brendon says. "This party sucks."

Jon laughs and takes Brendon's hand in his own. "Yeah, it kind of does. But hey, now you can officially say you've partied with rockstars?" Brendon laughs loudly, shaking his head.

"Come on, rockstar. Let's get the fuck out of here."

+

Brendon wakes up the next morning with Jon's legs tangled with his and Jon's arm thrown across his chest. The sun isn't quite up yet, but there's a little bit of light coming in through the window. Clover is perched up on the dresser, tilting her head at them. Brendon laughs quietly and closes his eyes. It's too early to be awake.

"You're awake," Jon whispers, laughing.

"Am not," Brendon says. "How can you tell?"

"Your breathing," Jon says. "It's not as loud when you're awake."

"Watching someone sleep is really creepy, Jon." Brendon rolls over onto his side and snuggles in closer to Jon.

"Shut up, jackass. I didn't want to get out of bed," Jon says. "I still don't. I sort of want to call Tom and tell him I'm sick, and fuck off and spend the day hanging out with you."

On one hand, Brendon thinks he shouldn't encourage Jon to fuck around when he's got work to do. On the other hand he's a selfish little fucker and would love to have Jon to himself for an entire day. "Mm, not complaining," Brendon says.

"Hold that thought," Jon says, rolling out of bed and walking out of the room. Brendon can sort of hear him coughing and putting on a fake stuffy nose as he talks to Tom. It's not very convincing, and Brendon laughs to himself. A few minutes later Jon comes back into the room, grins and says, "So, where were we?"

+

Brendon goes back to the dorm long enough on Friday to grab a couple of changes of clothes and a few other things he really needs. He brings his guitar too and says, "I'm just going to leave this here. I can't play it without my roommate throwing a fit anyway." Jon puts it in his practice room, and they don't really talk about it anymore.

"Are you going to Vegas for the summer?" Jon asks. They've spent nearly the entire afternoon into late evening in bed, and Brendon's kind of tired and hungry. Of course that means Jon's going to ask something like this.

"I guess," Brendon says. "I mean, I can't stay here, you know? Dorms close."

"You gonna stay with your parents?" Jon's pushing, and Brendon isn't sure that he likes it. Then again, Jon's probably told Brendon a lot of things that he doesn't talk to many people about.

"I guess I'd have to talk to them first," Brendon says. It comes out more snappish than he means for it to. "Sorry, just--it's been a while."

"I know," Jon says. "Well, you know, you should try, or whatever. Maybe they miss you."

"They haven't called me either," Brendon says. He really doesn't want Jon to push this. He wills Jon to figure that out and stop.

"Hey, I'm not accusing," Jon says. "I guess I just thought you might want to talk about it."

"Well, I don't." Brendon hopes Jon just stops now, that saying this will be enough to get Jon to never bring it up again.

"What happened between you and your parents?"

"I told you."

"You came here, and they didn't want you to," Jon says. It's obvious that he thinks there's more to it than that, and while he's sort of right, Brendon doesn't want to fucking _talk_ about it. Especially not with someone that he's known for less than a month. It must be obvious that he tenses up because Jon says, "Sorry, I just--nevermind."

Brendon sighs. "Sorry, I just don't want to talk about it.”

"Yeah, that's cool." Jon kisses Brendon quickly and then pulls back and smiles. "Hey, I know this great Chinese place that delivers, what do you say?"

And just like that, the subject is changed.

+

Jon still has to go work with Tom and Nick on Saturday and Sunday, but he manages to get out of there before he's angry and frustrated. By Monday morning, Brendon really wishes that he didn't have to go back to school.

"Best weekend ever," he says. "Wish I didn't have an eight a.m. class."

"Skip it," Jon says. "I would skip it."

Brendon laughs. "Well, if I weren't on a scholarship and my history professor wasn't the devil in disguise, I might actually think that's an amazing idea, but I should go."

Jon groans as Brendon rolls out of bed. "But what am I going to do? I still have _hours_ before I have to go to Tom's. Do you really want me to spend hours and hours alone? With nothing to do?"

"Sorry, rockstar. Gotta go to class," Brendon grins. He leans over and kisses Jon quickly and then throws his clothes on as he walks out the door. "See ya later!" he calls as he rushes out.

His classes are long and boring as expected; maybe even moreso than usual, after having a week off. He gets a text from Spencer to meet him for lunch. He goes to the cafeteria, and Spencer's already sitting at one of the tables.

"So, you'd better have a hell of an explanation," Brendon says, sitting across from him.

"I told him I was going home to Vegas and he insisted on following me," Spencer says, shrugging. "On Tuesday I broke down and told him that I was tired of watching him fuck up his romantic life because, basically, I've been in love with him since we were, like, kids or whatever."

"Shit."

"Yeah." Spencer takes a bite of his apple and shrugs.

"What did he say?"

"He kissed me," Spencer says. "Shit, Brendon, if I'd known it was going to be that easy, I would have said something sooner."

"So, is it really that easy? I mean, it's still Ryan we're talking about."

"I know," Spencer says. "Yeah, I don't know. We're taking it a step at a time. Anyway, what about you? Is it still complicated with Jon?"

"I don't know. I spent all weekend at his place," Brendon says. "We're, I don't know. It's going, you know?"

"Well, that's good," Spencer says. "It's been almost a month and we haven't met this guy. What the fuck is up with that?"

"Well, you've been off having all of your best friends turned lovers drama. You can meet him any time."

"Oh really? Tomorrow night then?" Spencer says, casually.

"Really? That soon?"

"You said any time." Spencer shrugs.

"Yeah, okay. Well, he's busy, you know. But I'll ask him if he can do it tomorrow night."

"You do that," Spencer says. "Shit, I have to get back to work. Tomorrow night," Spencer says, standing. He waves as he walks away.

Brendon sighs, pulling out his phone and sending a quick text to Jon asking about tomorrow night, and then heads out of the cafeteria.

+

Ryan and Spencer basically act the same as they always did, except Ryan doesn't mention any new girlfriends and Spencer doesn't glance over at him all the time.

"What time is Jon getting here?" Ryan asks.

"Don't know. He had work stuff," Brendon says. "After."

"Who would have thought that being a rockstar was so demanding? Aren't they on break or whatever?" Spencer asks.

"No, they're not touring, but they're trying to work on their second album," Brendon says. "It's not going as well as they hoped, I think. Just...don't ask him about it." Brendon doesn't want Jon to end up leaving because he's upset or pissed off or whatever.

"Noted," Spencer says.

Brendon asks a lot of questions about their time in Vegas, most of them going unanswered or answered as vaguely as possible, and tells them about his spring break, leaving out the part where he spent half of it pathetically alone. Jon texts Brendon half an hour later and says that he'll be there in about five minutes.

And just like that Brendon is really nervous. He wasn't this nervous when he met Jon's friends, but he's not sure if that's because meeting Jon's friends was an unexpected surprise. He's a little worried that Spencer and Ryan are going to hate Jon. Or that they're going to love him and spend hours telling him how lame Brendon was about him before they even met.

The latter is probably the most likely scenario.

Brendon insists on letting Jon in when he gets the apartment. He jumps up from the couch and opens the door, giving Jon a quick kiss hello. When he turns from the door, Spencer and Ryan are pretending to look away. Brendon drags Jon into the apartment and pulls him down on the couch next to him.

"Jon, this is Ryan and Spencer. Ryan and Spencer, this is Jon." Brendon grins and says, "There, now you've all met. We can go now, right?"

"No," Spencer says. "You're not getting off that easy. We've waited too long." Brendon sends Spencer a look that says _be nice_. He hopes that Spencer can read it, but he's not so sure.

"So, Jon," Ryan says. "Brendon is a _huge_ fan." Brendon is going to kill Ryan in his sleep. He can think of a few really elaborate and painful ways, too. One of them involves _Wannabe_ by the Spice Girls.

"So I've heard," Jon says. He looks at Brendon out of the corner of his eye and smiles, putting a comforting hand on Brendon's leg. It doesn't help.

"Do you date a lot of fans?" Spencer asks. He looks amused, but Brendon wouldn't put it past him if this were a test.

"I don't date a lot, really. No time for it," Jon says. "My last serious relationship was with my high school girlfriend." He laughs quietly.

"And this is serious?" Ryan looks like he's on the verge of laughter, and Brendon wants to tell him to shut up. He doesn't, though.

Jon shrugs slightly and looks over at Brendon, smiling. It's enough for Brendon. "Anyway," Brendon says. "We're not interrogating Jon tonight. We're hanging out."

"It's fine," Jon says. He smiles at Ryan and Spencer. "But I think it's fair if I ask you guys some questions, too." Brendon laughs under his breath and relaxes a little.

"Well, I guess," Ryan says.

"Cool. I know Brendon's a music major. What are you guys studying?"

"I'm an english major," Ryan says. "Did you even go to college?"

"For a semester. We were still kind of just fucking around in my parents' basement then. Then we got signed and I dropped out. It wasn't really for me, anyway."

"What was your major?" Spencer asks. It sounds harmless enough, just like old friends catching up. Brendon's not convinced it isn't a trap.

"Film," Jon says. "If I weren't a musician I'd be a photographer or a cameraman somewhere."

"You're into photography?" Ryan asks. They haven't talked about it, but Brendon's seen some Jon's stuff from before. His pictures are easy enough to find, for anyone who knows the band and at least googled them.

""I used to," Jon says. "There's not a lot of time for it anymore, you know?"

"Brendon wants to be a rockstar," Spencer says, grinning. On one hand, at least they're not picking on Jon. On the other hand, they're picking on Brendon.

"I do not," Brendon says. "I just want to make music."

"I've seen some of his lyrics. They're not bad," Jon says.

"He showed you his lyrics?" Ryan asks.

"Brendon doesn't show anyone his lyrics," Spencer says. "He thinks they're crap."

"It's not a big deal," Brendon mumbles. Spencer looks at him for a second but shrugs and turns his attention back to Jon. "I'm hungry," Brendon says. He doesn't want to talk about himself anymore.

"I should go check on the pasta. Ryan, you should come with me," Spencer says, but it's not really a suggestion. Ryan looks like he's going to argue for a second but ultimately just sighs and follows Spencer into the kitchen.

Jon leans into Brendon. "You really don't show anyone your stuff?" he asks.

Brendon shrugs. "It's not a big deal." He knows he's already said that, but he wants to stress it. It's _not_ a big deal. "I wanted to show you."

Jon smiles and moves closer, kissing Brendon. Brendon leans into the kiss, wrapping his hand around the back of Jon's neck, just barely touching the tips of his hair. Jon presses Brendon back into the couch. It's old and there's hard lump sticking into Brendon's back, but Brendon can't seem to care.

Someone clears their throat on the other side of the room. Jon pulls away and at least has enough shame to look down at his hands while he laughs. Brendon just laughs. "Sorry."

"You should be. We can't afford a new couch," Spencer says, smirking. "Now, are you assholes going to come eat, or what?"

+

"So, I think I'm going to have a party," Jon says. It's late on a Thursday night, and Brendon and Jon are lying in bed. They're half asleep already, both on their backs looking up at the ceiling. "You know, invite my friends and your friends. It could be fun."

"My friends are Ryan and Spencer," Brendon says.

Jon laughs quietly. "Okay, but still. They're invited to my party."

"When are you having this party?"

"I was thinking a couple of weeks from now, second weekend of April, maybe?" Jon says. "I don't know, sometime around the twelfth or something."

"Who told you my birthday?"

"Oh, that's your birthday?" Jon asks, nonchalantly. "I had no idea."

"Sure you didn't," Brendon says. "You want to throw me a birthday party?"

"I want to throw a party. That just so happens to occur around the date of your birth. You can call it whatever you want," Jon says, smiling. "I figured that unless you were doing something with Ryan and Spencer, you probably didn't have plans. And then I asked Spencer at lunch yesterd--"

"You went to lunch with Spencer yesterday?" Brendon asks. Jon hadn't told him that he wasn't going to be working yesterday afternoon. Not that he should always tell Brendon everything.

"Yes," Jon says, not giving more of an explanation. "Anyway, he said there were no plans, so--party."

"Your friends don't like me," Brendon says.

 

"Cassie loves you." Jon rolls over onto his side and throws an arm around Brendon's middle. "Tom and Nick don't know you."

"Tom definitely doesn't like me. He gives me the stink eye every time I see him and then he starts whispering with Nick or finds an excuse to leave the room. That is definitely a sign of dislike."

Jon sighs quietly. "Okay, here's the thing. Tom is fucking protective for some lame ass reason, and he's worried that you're some fan that's tricked me into dating you. I told him that's bullshit, seeing as how I went after you and everything, but he's stubborn. It's not that he hates you, it's just--"

"He thinks I'm a psycho. Great," Brendon says. It's not that he hadn't already figured that out, but it's a lot different to hear Jon say it. He'd stopped by the warehouse they've been working in after class the other day to bring Jon some coffee and Tom had glared at him the entire time. He just sort of wishes it were all in his head.

"He doesn't think that," Jon says, frowning. "And if he did, he'd be wrong."

"Well, _I_ know that," Brendon says. "I'm kind of lame and sometimes I'm an asshole, but I'm not a psycho."

Jon laughs quietly, pressing closer to Brendon. "He'll come around," Jon whispers, pressing a kiss to Brendon's temple. "And if he doesn't, then fuck him."

Brendon's not sure it's that easy.

"Now, about this party," Jon says. "The one for your birthday."

Brendon laughs quietly. "Okay. I guess we can have a party."

+

Brendon's birthday is on a Thursday. He wakes up and goes to class just like always, and then he goes to practice his song. It's due in a couple of weeks, and it's not where he wants it to be yet. He's not sure it ever will be, but he's going to try and get as close as possible. He spends an hour there, goes to his afternoon class and then heads to the dorm.

He's meeting Jon in a couple of hours and he's supposed to dress nice, even though they're just going to dinner. Jon's having a party tomorrow night, but he said that he wanted to take Brendon out somewhere _nice_ for his birthday. Somewhere that's just them.

Brendon's throwing things out of his closet and onto the floor, trying to find something that's not jeans or too casual, and his roommate keeps sending him curious glances over his laptop screen. Brendon's pretty sure his roommate decided long ago that he's a crazy person. He's halfway through his closet when his phone starts ringing. It's his generic ringtone, so he has no clue who it could be. It's also somewhere on the bottom of a pile of t-shirts on his bed. He manages to dig it out and answer it before it goes to voice mail, miraculously.

"Yello, Brendon here," he says. "And if this is Jon calling from--"

"Who's Jon?" It's a voice Brendon hasn't heard in a while, almost a year. He blinks, looking over at his roommate and then walking out of the room. "Brendon? Are you there?”

"Yeah," he says. "Yeah, Mom. I'm here."

"I know it's been a while since we've spoken," she says. After no phone calls on Christmas or to find out when he was coming home for a visit, he wants to say yes and why, and why _now_? But he just waits for her to keep going. "I wanted to say happy birthday."

"Oh," Brendon says. "Oh yeah, thanks, Mom."

"Look, Brendon, I know this is--I know your father and I reacted harshly, and I know that we should have called you sooner, but I just assumed you didn't want to hear from us either."

"You're my parents," Brendon says. "And you said I made my choice."

"I know," she says. "I'm sorry. We miss you."

"Yeah," Brendon says. She's his mom, and he loves her. He wants nothing more than to tell her it's okay, all is forgiven. Instead he says, "Look, Mom, I have have plans. You know, birthday and all. Can I call you later?"

"Of course you can," she says. "You will, won't you?"

"Of course, yeah," Brendon says. "Bye, Mom." He manages to hear her goodbye before he hangs up the phone.

He forgets about dinner and the pile of clothes on his floor and his bed. He forgets everything except for how he really wants to talk to Jon right now. He heads straight for Jon's apartment, getting there before Jon's back from working with Tom and Nick. He sits out on the steps of the building and waits.

He's not _crying_. He hasn't cried over his parents since right after he got to Chicago, since he met Ryan and Spencer, since long before he started dating Jon, and he's not going to start now. He presses the palms of his hands to his eyes and then hears Jon say his name.

"Hey, I thought we were meeting at--what's wrong?" Jon asks.

Brendon pushes himself up from the steps and smiles. "Nothing. Just, can we go inside?"

"Yeah, sure," Jon says. He doesn't say anything else as they walk, Brendon following a half a step behind him. They get inside and Jon turns to Brendon. "Seriously, Bren. What's up?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Brendon says. He looks down at the ground and mumbles. "My mom called me."

"What?"

"Yeah, I don't know. She wanted to say happy birthday." He tries to handwave it, but it's not nothing. It's huge, and he doesn't really know how to process it. "I haven't talked to her since I left Vegas."

Jon grabs Brendon's wrist and drags him over to the sofa, pulling him down. "Tell me what happened with them, Brendon." Brendon's never even told Ryan and Spencer _exactly_ what happened with his parents.

Brendon closes his eyes and sighs. "Yeah, okay." He pauses. "Well, I guess it started when I told them that I wanted to come here for school, on my music scholarship. They had other plans, you know? I was supposed to do something practical, or I could take some time off and go on a mission. I didn't want to do either of those things."

"A mission?"

"My family is Mormon. That's kind of part of the problem." Brendon looks over at Jon, who isn't saying anything. "I told them this was what I wanted. They're the ones that always encouraged me to learn instruments and wanted me to love music, you know? I guess I thought eventually they would come around."

"They didn't?”

"Well, they might have," Brendon says. "I got really angry one night, and I told them I didn't believe. I didn't believe in their religion or their God. That was the last straw, I guess. They told me if I wanted to make that decision, I could leave, but I wasn't coming back. And then I left."

"Brendon--"

"Don't, okay?" Brendon says. "Just don't. I know."

"She called you though, right? That's a good sign," Jon says. Brendon's grateful that he didn't ask any more questions. There's not much more to tell anyway, but Brendon's tired just thinking about it all again.

"I guess," Brendon says. "I don't know how much she'll miss me when I tell her about you." It comes out more biting than Brendon means it to, but Jon's face has already fallen, and Brendon can't take it back.

"Oh," Jon says. "Yeah, right. I'm sorry."

"Don't, Jon. I'm the one who should be sorry." Brendon stands up. "Fuck. I just, I thought--" He takes a deep breath. "I kept wanting them to call, on Thanksgiving and then Christmas and every other day. I just gave up and moved on, and now she calls me."

Jon stands up, walking over to Brendon and wrapping his arms around him. "Brendon, it'll be okay.”

"Yeah, maybe." Brendon wants to think that's true, but he's not sure. He wants to call his mom back now. "I'm sorry. Our night is totally fucked."

"Nope," Jon says. "Not gonna let that happen. We don't have to go out, though. We'll order pizza and watch _Spinal Tap_. Your present is here, anyway."

"Present?" Brendon says. Jon laughs quietly.

"Pizza first, then present."

Brendon sighs. "I guess that's okay."

+

Brendon falls asleep halfway through the movie. He jolts awake when he feels Jon shake him, and almost forgets where he is. They're stretched out on their stomachs on Jon's bed. The lights are off and there's an empty pizza box and a few beer bottles thrown on the floor. Everything considered, it's not a bad birthday for Brendon. At least he gets to spend it with Jon.

"Hey, so, I thought I'd wake you up while it's still your birthday, so I can give you your present."

"I'm awake!" Brendon says. "Give me this present you speak of." Jon laughs and rolls off the bed, holding his hand out for Brendon to take. "You didn't say I had to move," Brendon says.

"Oh, come on. It'll take ten minutes and then you can come crawl back into bed," Jon says. "As long as I can come with you."

"Obviously," Brendon says.

Jon leads Brendon to the music room. It's really supposed to be a guest room, but Jon never needed one and eventually it just became the place where he kept all of his instruments. Brendon has his guitar in there now, too. "Okay, close your eyes first," Jon says. Brendon laughs quietly but does it anyway. Jon opens the door and drags Brendon in. "Okay open them."

Brendon opens his eyes and looks around the room. There are a couple of new things: a small keyboard and an acoustic guitar are propped up together by the wall, next to Brendon's guitar. "What--"

"So, I know you don't have room for this shit, but you keep your guitar here anyway, and I figured you always complain about how sometimes the practice rooms are full, you know? So..."

"Jon," Brendon says. He walks over to the small keyboard and plays a little on the keys, and then he picks up the acoustic and strums a little. It's a nice guitar, the first brand new one he's ever had, and it must have cost a fortune. "You didn't have to--"

"I know," Jon says. "Anyway, there's more. Because, you know, I'm gone a lot, and once this album is written it's going to be even worse. You have to be able to get to this shit when I'm not around, so like, here."

He hands Brendon a small box. It's poorly wrapped, with old Christmas paper that has kittens on it. Brendon laughs before taking the box and ripping the paper off, letting it fall to the floor. He does the same with the top of the box. Inside is a key to Jon's apartment.

"Jon."

"It's nothing," Jon says, shrugging. "It's just, you know."

"No, it's--"

"It's nothing," Jon says again. "Really. Don't think--It's nothing."

"You said that," Brendon says. It's not nothing and Brendon knows it, but if Jon wants to say that, he's okay with it. Jon shrugs. Brendon wraps his arms tight around Jon's neck and says, "Thank you. Seriously."

"You're welcome," Jon whispers. He wraps his arms around Brendon's waist and moves so that he can kiss Brendon. "You really want to try them out, don't you?"

"Can I?" Brendon grins.

"They're yours," Jon says, laughing.

Brendon grins, walking over to the guitar and the keyboard. Jon only stays and watches for the first fifteen minutes. After that, he leaves Brendon alone.

+

Jon's gone when Brendon wakes up. Brendon assumes he's gone out with Nick and Tom for the day, so he stays in bed for a while before getting up and going to eat some cereal. He sits his cell down on the table in front of him and stares at it for a while. He knows he should probably call his mom back.

He sighs and picks up his phone, scrolling through the numbers. He finds his old home number on the list and hovers over the button for a moment before pressing, then puts the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" His mom's voice is far away and kind of rushed.

"Hey, Mom, it's me." He pauses. "Brendon."

"Brendon, hi." There's something like relief in her voice. "I didn't know if I'd actually hear from you."

"Yeah," Brendon says. Then, quieter, "Me either." He sighs quietly. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"No, I should have known that you'd have plans. I'm sure you're busy up there," she says. "Do you have friends?"

"Yeah, I do," he says. "You'd like them." He knows his mom would like Spencer, possibly Ryan.

"Maybe I'll get to meet them some day," she says. There's a brief pause before she continues. "We want you to come home for summer vacation."

"You didn't even want me to come home for Christmas," Brendon says.

"It's not that we didn't want--" she cuts herself off and then starts over. "I didn't know how to talk to you, and I thought you'd call us. I know, Brendon, I know your father and I messed up, but we love you. Just think about it, okay?"

"Okay," Brendon says. "I'll think about it."

The front door opens and Brendon hears Jon call out, "Hey, so I was just--" Jon walks into the kitchen, arms full of grocery bags. "Oh, shit, sorry." He walks over to the counter and sets the bags down before walking back out of the room. Brendon's mom says something, but he misses it.

"Sorry, what was that, Mom? My roommate just came in." Brendon cringes just saying it. It's not that he hates lying to her, not really. It's not like it's the first time he's ever lied to his mom, but he's lying about _Jon_. Jon pops his head around the door frame and raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, that's okay. I understand if you need to go," she says.

"No, it's fine," Brendon says. He walks into the other room and sees Jon sitting on the sofa. "I can talk." He falls onto the sofa, lying back with his head in Jon's lap. Jon smiles sadly down at him. He just shrugs.

"Oh, I was just saying that your brothers and sisters are asking about you. You should call Kyla, at least."

"I will," Brendon says. He doesn't know why he stopped talking to his brothers and sisters after his parents kicked him out. He just assumed that if his parents didn't want to talk to him, they wouldn't either. They'd never tried to call him, so it wasn't like he had any reason to think otherwise.

Jon starts threading his fingers through Brendon's hair. It's relaxing. "Mom, I have to go. I'll talk to you later?"

"Of course, Brendon. You can call me anytime," she says.

"I know."

"I love you." She hesitates before she says it. Brendon wonders if she's afraid of how he's going to respond.

"Me too," he says. He waits for a second, just to see if she'll hang up first. She does. "Sorry," he says, dropping his phone on the floor. "I don't know why she's doing this now."

"She misses you," Jon says. "Is it really surprising?"

"I know, I know. I'm fucking awesome, right?" He laughs quietly. "I don't know what to do, Jon. I miss them, but I was _wrecked_ when they told me to leave. How can I just get over that?"

"They're family. You'll find a way." Jon bites his lip. "You want to, right? Make up with them?"

"Yeah," Brendon says. "So much, and my brothers and sisters. God, I miss my brothers and sisters."

"Then you should talk to them," Jon says. "But not right now. We have a party to get ready for."

"Did you buy me anything at the store?" Brendon grins.

"You'll have to get your ass in the kitchen and find out."

+

Ryan and Spencer are the first people there. They seem to not be speaking, which kind of sucks. Brendon really wants to ask what's up with them, but he doesn't want them to ruin the party with their drama. A bunch of Jon's friends show up next; some that he's met and some that he hasn't. Sean and the rest of his band show up too, which is kind of awesome because Brendon's been wanting to talk to them more about their stuff.

"Seriously? You don't want to be signed?" Brendon asks.

"I don't know, it's like, with Tom, you know? Those guys are great, and they love what they do, but it's a _job_ now. I kind of like the idea that I'm doing this for me. I don't really care about the money."

"Hey," Nick says, coming over and throwing an arm around Sean. "Are you implying we're in this for the money? Because I'm in it for the girls," he says, grinning.

"De'mar know that?" Sean asks, smirking.

"He's my _roommate_ ," Nick says. Sean barks out a loud laugh. Nick punches him in the arm, but there's no force behind it. Sean just rolls his eyes. "Fuck you. I'm going to find Tom."

Ryan is talking to Cassie, gesturing about something. Brendon sort of wishes that he could read lips. Ryan keeps sneaking glances at Spencer, who's talking to Al, the bassist for Sean's band. Ryan glares, and Brendon almost laughs about it, until Ryan looks back at Cassie. He does that thing he does sometimes where he smiles shyly from behind his bangs and looks totally innocent.

Brendon should step in, but he can't be bothered to get involved.

"I'm going to look for Jon," Brendon says. Sean smiles at him and then turns to talk to Danielle.

Jon's not in the kitchen, and Tom doesn't appear to be anywhere in sight either. Brendon figures they stepped out for a cigarette or something. He still wants to be away from the party for a minute, just in case Ryan and Spencer start arguing. He starts toward the bedroom and gets the door cracked open before he hears voices.

"I just don't want to hear it anymore, Tom," Jon says. Brendon can't see him, and he thinks maybe he shouldn't be hearing him either, but that doesn't make him step away from the door.

"Of course you don't," Tom says. "Jon, I know you think I'm being, whatever. But this guy, I don't know. He's kind of--."

"You don't know him," Jon says. "Anyway--I know, alright, and you're right. But, hey, I didn't tell fans where I live. I just dated one of them." It's snippy. Brendon's never heard Jon get snippy with Tom.

"You gave him a _key_." Oh. _Oh._ They're fighting about Brendon. Brendon wonders how long they've been fighting about him.

"We've been dating for two months. It's not like I just met him yesterday." There's a long pause. "Seriously, Tom. I kind of love him, so you might have to get over it."

Brendon _might_ close the door a little too hard. The voices stop and Jon pokes his head out of the door and frowns. "Brendon."

"Sorry, I was--Ryan and Spencer, and Sean. And then I went to find you, but I couldn't, so I was just going to hang out for a few minutes. But you were in there, so I'll just--" Brendon stops to breathe. Jon _loves_ him.

"Brendon." Jon says again. "Just--hang on a second, okay?"

Brendon nods and Jon disappears back into the bedroom. He hears muffled talking and then the door opens and Tom shuffles out. He mumbles an apology and then walks out into the living room where everyone else is. Jon doesn't come out, and Brendon waits just a moment before he pushes the door open and goes inside.

Jon is lying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. Brendon walks over and lies down with him. He's on his back at first, but then he turns onto his side to face Jon. They're not touching at all, and it feels kind of wrong.

"So, I guess you heard that," Jon whispers.

Brendon could pretend that he didn't. It would be really easy to lie. "Yeah," he says.

"He's just being a best friend, you know?" Jon asks. "It's not that he doesn't like you. He doesn't know you. He just sees you as a fan."

"I know," Brendon says. "Jon, anything he's thinking, I was probably thinking it first. It's not every day you meet your favorite musician and he asks you out." Brendon realizes how that sounds. He doesn't mean it that way, but he's definitely thought about it. That maybe deep down that was part of it, in the beginning.

"Are you saying that he's right? That's why you're here?" Jon still isn't looking at Brendon. It's not right.

Brendon scoots closer, wrapping an arm around Jon's chest and curling into him. "No," Brendon says. "No, no. It's really not. I just--sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that." Jon tenses, and Brendon closes his eyes and sighs. He's not saying anything right. "Jon, no. That is not why I'm here. God, I don't know. You were in my favorite band, and then you kept _noticing_ me. I'm not really used to being noticed. You kept noticing, and I was so shocked and thrilled."

"Brendon," Jon says, but he doesn't complete the thought.

"Jon, I'm not dating you because you're fucking Jon Walker of 504. I would have gotten bored of that so _so_ fast. Tom is wrong, and I'm going to kick you in the balls if you actually think that I'm using you that way. I don't give a shit if you're in a band."

Jon laughs and then turns his head and kisses Brendon quickly. "I guess you heard the rest of it, too?"

"The part where you said you kind of love me?" Brendon grins. "Yep. I heard that too. It was my favorite part, to be honest."

"I do, you know."

"Yeah," Brendon says, more serious now. "Me too, for the record."

Jon smiles and kisses Brendon, longer this time. He rolls over onto his side and wraps an arm around Brendon, pulling him in as close as he can. Somewhere in the other room Ryan starts yelling and Spencer follows close behind. Brendon ignores it.

+

Things seem better between Jon and Tom after Brendon's party. Things between Ryan and Spencer are worse and then better and then worse again, constantly. Spencer says something to Brendon once about finding balance, and going from friends to more and not being sure if it's going to work. He seems to be looking for advice, but Brendon just asks him to pass the Cheetos. He's resolved in not getting involved in Ryan and Spencer's drama.

It's the week before finals, and most of Brendon's classes are wrapped except for his exams. He's trying not to stress out about everything and he's spending most of his time with Jon. Jon is still off working, but most days he comes home early talking about how they think they've gotten this song where they want it, or they think they just need to polish this chord progression before it's perfect.

Brendon and Jon have started doing a lot of household stuff together. It's weird in a nice kind of way and at least it keeps Brendon out of his dorm room. His roommate stressed out is apparently a lot more annoying than his roommate _not_ stressed out. Brendon had dared to tell him last week that maybe he would know what pages he was supposed to be studying if he hadn't scribbled elf wartime strategy all over his notes, and he got a notebook to the head.

They're walking through the grocery store; Jon pushing the cart and Brendon following alongside throwing stuff in.

"So, I think we're going to be done next week," Jon says. "I mean, with the writing part and all that."

"Cool," Brendon says. "I still need to decide what I'm doing over the summer. My parents really want me to go home." He's been talking to his mom and dad more, and he doesn't feel so conflicted about seeing them again. It feels like it would be worth it to at least try, anyway.

"That's too bad," Jon says. He grabs a box of Frosted Flakes, throwing them in the cart. Jon really prefers Cheerios, but Brendon _pouts_ when there are no Frosted Flakes in the apartment. He's always been good at getting his way.

"Why?" Brendon asks. "I thought you said I should--"

"Well, I just mean, it looks like I can do that whole vacation thing. I was going to take you away to somewhere really awesome." Brendon had forgotten all about that, and even at the time he had thought Jon was half-joking.

"Wait, seriously? You want to go on vacation together?"

"Well, I don't know. I think it could be fun, you know?" Jon shrugs, but Brendon can tell it's more important than that.

"Do you want to come with me?" Brendon asks. He doesn't really mean to, but it rushes out before he can stop himself. It seems like a terrible idea, inviting his boyfriend to meet his parents, when they don't even know he has a boyfriend. When he doesn't even know how they're going to take it.

"Come with you?"

"I mean, it's just going to be weird, you know?" Brendon shrugs. "I haven't seen them in a while, and I kind of don't want to do it alone."

"Are you sure you want _me_ there?" Jon flips over a box of Pop-Tarts, but Brendon knows he's only pretending to look at the nutrition facts. "I mean, they think I'm you're roommate or whatever."

"You're my friend," Brendon says. "I mean, obviously you're not just that, but..." He takes the Pop-Tarts out of Jon's hand and moves so Jon has to look at him. "Yes, I want _you_ there."

"Okay," Jon says, smiling.

"Okay," Brendon says. Jon grabs the cart and pushes it to the next aisle.

+

The night they finish up the writing portion of the album, they have a small party at Tom's apartment. Brendon's also celebrating being done for the semester. Ryan and Spencer are celebrating a week with no major fights or break ups, and they celebrate by making out on Tom's bed. It's probably a good thing Tom hasn't noticed yet.

The party's been going on for a while when Jon splits off from Brendon to go talk to Cassie. Brendon's sure Jon is having a minor (or major) freak out about meeting his parents. He can tell Jon's nervous, even though he's not really acting like it.

"Hey," Tom says, leaning on the wall next to Brendon. "So, I think I owe you an apology. I was kind of an asshole about you."

"Oh," Brendon says. "Whatever, it's fine."

"No," Tom says. "Jon's into you, and I spent kind of a lot of time telling him that it was a bad idea, so--sorry." He shrugs.

"Whatever," Brendon says. "It's fine." They're never going to be best friends.

"Yeah," Tom says. "Well." He nods again, takes a drink from his cup and then walks away. It's a little awkward, but they've never spent a lot of time together so Brendon doesn't think anything of it.

A few minutes later Cassie comes back in the room, Jon following behind her. He smiles at Brendon and walks over, wrapping his arms around Brendon's waist and pulling him close. "Hey," he says.

"You okay?" Brendon asks.

"Better," Jon says. "I'm a little nervous. I don't know if you've noticed." Jon laughs quietly, pulling away from Brendon.

"I've noticed." Brendon frowns slightly. "You can skip it if you want, you know. I'll understand."

"Nope," Jon says. "I'm going to meet your parents. You can't stop me now. Besides, we already bought the tickets."

Brendon laughs. Somewhere Tom starts yelling. Ryan and Spencer come out of the hallway half-dressed and red lipped, carrying their clothes. Spencer is apologizing and Ryan is laughing. Brendon rolls his eyes and says. "Well, I think that's the end of the party."

"Lies," Jon says. "This just means it's really getting started." Brendon laughs as Tom throws a pillow at Ryan.

+

All of Brendon's stuff is scattered around Jon's apartment. They're getting ready to leave for a couple of weeks in Vegas. After that they're coming back to Chicago for a few days before Jon has to head to LA to start recording.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Brendon asks. Jon's room is full of boxes, and there are more out in the living room. Brendon's luggage for Vegas is packed and sitting next to the door ready to go. "It's so much shit."

"Well, since I'm going with you, I'd say it's fine," Jon says, laughing. "We'll figure something else out when we get back ." Jon zips up his bag and sets it on the floor.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? I mean, you don't get that much time off--"

"Brendon," Jon says, putting his hands on Brendon's arms and looking him in the eyes. "I'm fine. It'll be fun. I'll be your awesome roommate and sleep down the hall, and when we're home alone we'll make out in your room and listen for the door. It'll be just like we're in high school." He grins.

Brendon laughs quietly. "Okay, yeah. It'll be awesome."

They get to the airport just in time for their flight to start boarding. Brendon is nervous the entire time, and Jon keeps putting a hand on his thigh to keep him from getting too jittery. It only helps a little bit. The plane ride seems a lot longer than it really is.

When they get to baggage claim, Brendon looks around for his parents while Jon waits for their bags. He sees his mom and dad over by the door, but it takes him a second to compose himself before he walks over. He doesn't know what to say after so long without seeing them, so he goes with a simple, "Mom, Dad, hi."

"Brendon!" Brendon's mom wraps him into a hug and his dad slaps him on the back. "We missed you," she says. "Where's your roommate?"

"He's over there waiting for our bags," Brendon says. "Come on, I'll introduce you."

Brendon walks over to Jon with his parents following behind him. "Jon, hey," Brendon says.

"Yeah, they're not down yet," Jon says.

"Jon, this is my mom and dad." Brendon's dad shakes Jon's hand. Jon smiles and says, "It's nice to meet you. Brendon's told me a lot about you." It's stilted, like Jon's trying not to imply that what Brendon's told him isn't exactly good, but he's failing.

"He's told us a lot about you, too," Brendon's mom says. "It's nice to put a face to the name."

"Yeah, you too," Jon says. Their bags finally come down and they mostly just watch the luggage go around until theirs is out. Jon grabs both, carrying Brendon's for him. "Go on, talk to them. I'll follow," he whispers into Brendon's ear. Brendon nods and goes up to talk to his parents.

On the way back to the house, Brendon's parents ask him a lot of questions about school. He tells them about his classes and about living in Chicago. He feels like a lot of their interest is fake, but he appreciates that they're trying at least. Jon is quiet next to Brendon in the backseat, and they're not touching. It's weird.

The drive from the airport to the house is shorter than he remembers. He hasn't been back since a few days before he left for Chicago. Everything looks almost the same way as it did when he left.

"Brendon, why don't you show Jon to the guest room?" His mom says.

Brendon nods and motions for Jon to follow him up the stairs. He can hear his parents whispering as he and Jon go up the stairs, and is sure it's about him. He wishes he knew what they were saying.

He stops at his room first and closes the door behind them. "I'm sorry this is so weird," Brendon says. "I hate pretending you're just--"

"Don't worry about it, Bren. I get it," Jon says. "Seriously. You don't want to spring too much on them at once."

"Yeah, I know," Brendon says. "I know."

"Hey, we probably shouldn't spend too much time up here. They might get suspicious." Jon turns to leave, but Brendon stops him, kissing him hard, until they're both breathless.

"Yeah, okay." Brendon nods. "Let's go." Jon leaves first, Brendon following behind. "So, you're here, across the hall."

Jon smiles slightly, going in. "You should go back downstairs. I'm gonna call Cass." Brendon nods. It kind of sucks, but he understands why. He goes downstairs alone.

+

It's been a few days, and things are still kind of weird. He hasn't been alone with Jon for more than a few minutes at a time, and he doesn't know how to talk to his parents anymore. They don't seem to know how to talk to him either, so mostly it's just awkward.

On Thursday, Kyla stops by. She gives him a hug and then punches him in the arm for not visiting sooner. After that she punches him in the other arm for not calling her just because of what happened with their parents. His mom had left a few minutes before to go shopping for groceries, so he's a little annoyed that Kyla's interrupting the brief amount of time he was going to get alone with Jon. Not annoyed enough that he isn't really happy to see her.

Brendon shrugs his shoulders as he walks back into the living room and sits back down next to Jon. There's some daytime talk show playing on the TV that Jon is laughing at.

"You must be the roommate," Kyla says, as she comes in behind Brendon. "My mom said you were coming with Brendon."

"Yeah," Jon says. "That's me. I'm the roommate." Jon says, a little too cheerfully. This whole situation sucks, for both of them. Brendon had sort of known this was a bad idea, and now he's wishing he'd never suggested it.

"You look a little old to be a freshman," Kyla says, raising an eyebrow. "You also look kind of familiar."

"He's got a familiar face," Brendon says. "Seriously. I spent the first month we lived together trying to figure out where I'd seen him before."

Jon nods, and Kyla makes a _hmm_ sound. She obviously doesn't buy it. It could have something to with the fact that Brendon's leg is bouncing up and down and he's talking kind of fast, both things he does when he's really nervous.

"Sure," she says. "So, I was hoping we could hang out, have lunch or something, since you haven't spoken to me in almost a year. I want to catch up."

"Okay," Brendon says. "Can Jon come? He doesn't really know anyone here, and it's really not fair to make him hang out with Mom all day."

Kyla gives Jon a skeptical look and then shrugs her shoulders and says, "Okay, why not?"

The radio in Kyla's car is tuned to a top 40 station that plays a good song every four days or so, a radio station that Brendon had always given her a lot of shit for listening to. The DJ is talking about celebrity gossip, and Brendon tunes it out. Kyla is talking about her new job, but he's only half paying attention.

After the gossip ends, one of Jon's songs comes on. It's the one everyone knows the words to, and Jon's told Brendon he fought against even putting on the album. Jon taps the rhythm out on his thigh instinctively and Brendon smiles a little, singing along under his breath.

He catches Kyla looking in the rearview mirror at Jon and then she glances towards him. "I like this song," she says.

"Yeah." Brendon nods. "It's great." He looks straight ahead as Jon kicks at the back of his seat. He can imagine Jon rolling his eyes, trying not to crack a smile.

They get to a restaurant that Brendon remembers going to with Kyla a lot back when he and his parents had first started fighting. Looking back on it, he doesn't know why he never called her. She's the one that he always went to for advice, and they always got along the best. He doesn't know why he thought she wouldn't want to talk to him.

They get a table outside because it's not too hot today. The weather is sunny and comfortable, not sweltering, and Brendon knows it won't be like this for long.

"So, Jon, what are you majoring in?" Kyla asks. She's looking at her menu, not either one of them, and it makes Brendon nervous.

"Uhm," Jon's face twists up in concentration. "I haven't decided," he finally settles on. "Just getting the basics out of the way first, I guess."

"Hm," Kyla says, putting down her menu. Brendon might be sitting closer to Jon than necessary, but whatever happens, he doesn't think Kyla will call him on it.

"My Music Comp professor loved the song I wrote for my final project," Brendon says. Changing the subject seems like a great course of action.

"That's great!" Kyla says. She looks at Jon and adds, "My little brother is pretty much a genius, but he won't believe anyone who says it. He really knows his stuff."

"I know," Jon says. He smiles over at Brendon, and Brendon grins back. It's a little too relaxed and unguarded, but he can't help himself. It's been _days_ since they've so much as held hands, and it is really fucking ridiculous. He's tired of acting like Jon is just some dude.

"Shut up. I'm not," Brendon says. "I just love music." He loves making a song from nothing, piecing it all together and making it sound like something that could mean something. He can see Jon smiling at him out of the corner of his eye. It's really hard not to lean over and kiss him.

Their waiter interrupts by coming over to take their orders. Brendon never thought he'd be so glad to see a food service worker. He takes his time ordering, and when the waiter is gone, Kyla is staring at him. "What?" he asks.

"Nothing," she says.

"I'll be right back," Jon says, standing. Brendon looks at him curiously. "Bathroom," he says. Jon's hand brushes Brendon's back lightly as he walks past him. Brendon doesn't think Kyla notices.

She's staring at him, and it's a little unsettling. "What?" Brendon asks again.

"Jon," she says. "He's not your roommate."

"What?" Brendon says. He tries for incredulous, but it really just comes out as a little bit surprised. "Why would I lie about that, Kyla? Don't be ridiculous."

"First of all, he's at _least_ twenty-two. Second, it took him way too long to tell me that he hadn't declared a major, and third, the way you two keep looking at each other. It's really obvious. You're not doing that around Mom and Dad, are you?"

"No," Brendon mumbles. "We're barely ever in the same room."

"So, he's _not_ your roommate."

"No," Brendon mumbles. "Please don't say anything. I don't want to fuck this up. I just didn't want to come alone."

"You're not alone, jackass," she says, and smiles slightly. "He seems nice."

"Yeah, he is," Brendon says. "He's in a band. A sort of popular one.”

"Yeah? I thought he looked kind of familiar." Brendon gives her a look and she says, "What? I watch MTV, and I do have the internet, you know."

"I'm sick of lying about him," he says. "I feel like after everything, I should be able to tell them that I have a boyfriend. They're the ones who wanted me to come here, who said they were sorry."

Jon's been gone for a while. Brendon thinks he's probably just giving them time.

"Do you want me to tell you that you should?" Kyla asks. "I'd be lying if I told you I thought it wouldn't matter."

"Does it matter to you?" he asks. He doesn't know what he'll do if she says yes. At least he'll know that he should just go back to Chicago now and pretend this trip never happened.

There's a long pause on Kyla's end before she says, "No. I love you, Brendon, and if you're happy, that's great. He seems like a good guy."

"Yeah," Brendon says. "Mom and Dad like him, but they like him as my roommate. I don't think they would like him as much as some dude that I'm fucking."

"Brendon," Kyla says, frowning.

"Sorry," he mumbles.

"No," she says, nodding behind him. Jon is walking up. He hovers a second before sitting back down next to Brendon. "Hey," Kyla says. "So we probably need to be properly introduced. I'm Kyla, and you're dating my little brother. I have to interrogate you now."

Jon looks over at Brendon, raising an eyebrow. Brendon nods. "I told her," he says. "It's okay."

Jon laughs quietly and then looks at Kyla. "Okay, do your best."

Kyla spends the next half hour asking Jon way too many personal questions, but it's nice to know that at least someone in his family is okay with Jon as his boyfriend.

+

It gets better after that. A little, anyway. He's a little more relaxed, but it still sucks to have to act differently around Jon. They've been tiptoeing around each other less, and Jon had snuck into Brendon's room the previous night for a quick make out session before bed. Jon ended up falling asleep in Brendon's bed, but Brendon didn't really mind.

It's late in the morning if the sunlight pouring in through the curtains is any indication. Brendon forgets where they are for a second because Jon is wrapped around him. The bed is smaller than Brendon remembers it being, and he blinks a few times and then remembers they're in Vegas. He doesn't jump up, though. He settles in and pretends that it's not time to wake up yet. Jon is still pretty much sound asleep.

Jon makes a little half awake noise in the back of his throat and Brendon smiles. "Morning," he says. "Well, probably closer to good afternoon, but morning will do."

"Did I fall asleep?" Jon mumbles.

"Yeah," he says. "We both did."

"Shit."

"It's fine," Brendon says. "Mom and Dad were already in bed, and I'm kind of past the point of caring anyway."

"You don't mean that," Jon says. It's true. He doesn't mean it, not exactly. He can't help but care what his parents think, at least a little bit, but he's sick of _lying_.

"Kind of," Brendon says. "I think I want to tell them you're not my roommate."

"You know you don't have to, right? I understand why you're doing this," Jon says.

"I know." Brendon nods, cuddling into Jon even closer. "I want to. It's like...they asked me to come home, you know? You're kind of a part of my life now, and I hate lying about that."

Jon shifts so he can roll over onto his back. "You should do what you think is best. I'm here, no matter what that is."

"Yeah," Brendon says. He doesn't even have to think about it very hard before he decides.

+

They're leaving in two days. Brendon keeps trying to start a conversation about Jon, but never gets very far. It's so easy to psych himself out, to tell himself that this will fuck any progress that he's made with his mom and dad.

Jon's off on the phone with Pete, ironing out the details for the band's studio time, and Brendon's sitting in the living room while his mom and dad talk about their days. Brendon is bouncing his leg up and down, biting his lip. He starts thinking about going back to Chicago, living in Jon's apartment while Jon is working. He thinks about school in the fall and when he'll be home again, and how often he'll talk to his parents this time around.

"Jon's not my roommate," Brendon says. He blurts it out right in the middle of his mom telling his dad about her phone call with Kara earlier. Their heads snap around at him. His mom's eyes are wide and curious, and his dad looks confused.

"Then what..." His mom's eyes go even wider.

"He's, well, I guess like my boyfriend? I don't know, I just thought you should know." Brendon says it all so fast, he's not even really sure what he said.

"Brendon," his dad says. It sounds like a warning.

"I know, alright. I already know everything you're going to say. You don't have to say it. Just listen." Brendon suddenly wishes that he'd thought about what to say instead of just deciding to wing it. "You guys kicked me out, and I moved to Chicago, and I met Jon. He was nice, and he was good to me, and I fell for him, and I care what you think. I do." Brendon wishes he could say that he doesn't, especially with the looks on their faces. "But I care about him, and he comes with me now. So if you want me to say that it's okay, that everything in the past is in the past, you have to take him too."

His mom looks like she's going to cry, and Brendon can't take it. He stands up and shrugs at them. "I'm sorry if that's not okay with you." He starts up the stairs, stopping to knock on Jon's door before he gets to his own room. Jon tells him to come in, even though Brendon can hear him talking to someone on the phone. He goes into the room, and Jon smiles as he talks on the phone. "Yeah, Mom," he says. "No, it's great. He says hi. Yes, I'll bring him over some day. Yes, I promise. Look, I need to go." He pauses and then says, "Yeah, I love you too." He hangs up and waves Brendon in. "Are you okay?"

"I sort of told my mom and dad," he says, pausing. "In the way that I told them everything."

"Oh," Jon says. "Shit. Are you okay?" He lies down on the bed, making room for Brendon.

"I'm oddly okay, I think. I just wanted to see you. And, you know, not be in there. My mom looked like she was going to cry, Jon. Just knowing about you. She looked like I'd told her I was dying or something."

Jon rolls over, wrapping Brendon in a full body hug. "It's okay. At least they didn't yell."

"I think that might have been better," Brendon says, laughing a bit sadly. "At least I'd know."

There's a knock on the door and then his mom's voice comes through saying, "Brendon? Can I come in?"

Brendon unwraps himself from Jon and walks over the door, opening it for her and motioning her in. He sits back down on the bed, and Jon sits up, moving closer to him and resting a comforting hand on Brendon's back.

"Hello, Jon," his mom says.

"Hey." Jon looks over at Brendon and then at Brendon's mom. He doesn't look away.

"Brendon, I'm sorry you had to do that," his mom says. Brendon's eyes go wide and he stares. He hadn't expected that. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I understand, but I love you, and we've spent too long not speaking to go back to where we were six months ago."

"Mom," he says. She's not giving him her blessing. She's not even saying she's okay with Jon. But she's willing to let it go, and that's something. That's more than he expected.

"Jon, you seem nice enough," she says. "Brendon, you're my _son_. I don't want to spend another year without knowing if you're even alive. If you're happy, I feel like I should let you be happy, even if I may have some problems with it."

"What about Dad?" Brendon asks.

"I'll talk to him," she says. "I don't know. You know your father."

"Yeah," Brendon says. "I know." This isn't exactly what Brendon wanted, but it's more than he had expected, and at least they aren't telling him to get out of their house. It's enough that he can relax a little bit.

+

His parents haven't yelled. They haven't said anything about him and Jon at all, not really, but his mom is obviously uncomfortable, and his dad isn't saying much of anything. Brendon doesn't want to make anything worse than it already is. All he can hope for is that eventually they really will come around.

They're ready to go early on Sunday morning, and Kyla's coming by to take them to the airport. She wants to see Brendon one last time before he leaves. Brendon's mom had argued, but Kyla insisted.

He hugs his parents goodbye while Jon waits awkwardly on the porch with Kyla. They're talking about something, Brendon can't hear what it is. His mom kisses his cheek and tells him to call as soon as he gets to Chicago, not a minute later. He nods at her and tells his dad goodbye before walking to meet Jon and Kyla.

They drive off, and Brendon wants to be sad about it. He's going to miss his parents, but it's not like the last time. He'll talk to them every week and see them as much as possible, and that's really all that he can ask for.

+

They're only back in Chicago for a week before Jon has to leave for LA. He doesn't know how long he'll be gone. They've got the studio for as long as they need it, and they've rented a house out there for the three of them. Some of the songs aren't even where they want them yet, so Jon doesn't give Brendon a ballpark less vague than 'at least most of the summer'. It kind of sucks.

But not as much as it would if it didn't mean that Brendon got to spend the summer in Chicago, living in Jon's awesome apartment. Sometimes Spencer and Ryan come over and they play video games on Jon's obscenely large flat screen, but only until Ryan and Spencer either almost kill each other, or start making out and then start making up excuses for why they have to leave.

Sometimes Brendon goes to shows. He hangs out with Cassie and sees Sean's band, and eventually he starts to become someone that just gets invited along, even without Jon in town. He talks to Jon every other day--sometimes every day, if it's really stressful or Jon wants to tell Brendon something really awesome that happened in the studio. He also keeps telling Brendon he can't wait to introduce him to Pete. Sometimes Brendon thinks Pete sounds kind of insane, but Jon seems to love him.

Jon calls Brendon one day late in July and tells him that it looks like he'll be home in a couple of weeks. Brendon is thrilled because he'll have a few weeks with Jon before he has to head back to the dorms. He's gotten so used to living in Jon's apartment.

When Jon finally comes home, he insists on getting a cab home from the airport. Brendon has been using Jon's car, but Jon says it's easier to just take a cab. Brendon really wants to meet him there, but he does what Jon asks. He figures Jon must have a reason for it. He makes sure that everything in the apartment is just as Jon left it. Not that Jon left it incredibly clean.

"Honey, I'm home!" Jon says in the most high-pitched and chipper voice Brendon's ever heard him use. Brendon runs over and throws his arms around Jon in a tight hug. Jon laughs quietly into Brendon's neck. "Hey, I missed you, too."

"How was your flight?" Brendon asks, pulling away. "Any crying babies?"

"No, thankfully. Tom wouldn't shut the fuck up, though. Danielle this, Danielle that. Jesus, I could barely get a word in about how excited I was to get home to you."

Brendon grins. "Okay, so I was thinking we could--"

"Your shit's still in boxes," Jon says, cutting Brendon off. "And stacked against the wall in the living room. Why is your shit in boxes in the living room?"

"Well, it was in the way in the bedroom, and I just thought it was kind of stupid to unpack everything for a couple of months, when I'd just have to pack it again when you were ready to take your apartment back and I was ready to go back to the dorms."

"Oh," Jon says. "Right, yeah, of course. Hey, do you want to go out to dinner?"

"Well, I was thinking we could order Thai and stay in. It's been a fucking long time, Jon. I kind of want you to myself tonight."

"Yeah," Jon says. "Cool. Hey, though, I'm going to take a shower first." Jon walks into the bathroom before Brendon can respond. Brendon thinks about following him, but that was such an abrupt transition that Brendon doesn't think it seems like a good idea.

+

The next morning Brendon and Jon are curled up in bed together, sleepily kissing and enjoying their first late morning in bed in a really long time. After the brief moment of awkwardness when Jon disappeared into the bathroom, everything had been fine and exactly as Brendon had planned.

"I missed you," Jon mutters into Brendon's mouth. Brendon hums softly in response. Jon pulls Brendon closer against him. Brendon didn't realize it was possible to get closer, but apparently he can always be closer. Jon whispers nonsense between pressing kisses on Brendon's mouth and cheek, down to his neck and collarbone. It takes a moment for Brendon to catch up and realize it's not actually nonsense. That what Jon's actually saying is, "Stay, want you here with me," over and over again.

"What?" Brendon says, forcing Jon to look at him.

"Stay here." Jon looks him in the eyes, running a hand through Brendon's hair. "I want you to live here with me. Fuck moving into the dorms. You know you're going to hate the shit out of it, your roommate's going to suck, and you're going to end up here most of the time anyway. So just don't go. It's stupid, and I don't want you to."

"Jon." They haven't been dating for that long, not really, and Jon's not even home a lot of the time. Besides, the dorms are already included in Brendon's scholarship, and it's paid for the semester. It's stupid to waste it, especially since he sure can't afford half the rent on this place.

"Don't fucking think that hard, Brendon," Jon says. "I know what you're thinking--or well, I know that you're worrying about something--and stop. I want you _here_. Is it really that hard to believe?"

"No," Brendon says. "No, I know that you want me here, I just don't know if you're going to keep wanting me here." Jon opens his mouth to argue, but Brendon stops him. "Hear me out. It's been less than a year, Jon, and you're--"

"Nope, not listening. I don't care. You're staying," Jon says, grinning.

"I am?"

"Well, you didn't go out with me at first because you thought I was some douchebag rockstar who just wanted to get laid, or whatever." That's nothing near what Brendon thought, but he doesn't argue the point with Jon. "I wore you down, so you might as well just give up now. I'm going to win."

"Yeah," Brendon says. When he really thinks about it, he doesn't want to be anywhere else. "Yeah, okay."

"Okay," Jon says. "Well, I guess we're going to have to unpack your shit soon."

"It can wait," Brendon says. "Right now, we have to celebrate the fact that we _live together_."

Jon grins and then leans in and kisses him again, relaxed and soft. Brendon can't believe how awesome his life is.


End file.
